6 Harsh Realities of a Good Person

In essence I think most people want to be good people; or that they try to do what is right by them and their family. I’ve always wanted to do the “right” thing ever since I was a little boy. The problem is that I tried far too hard to be “right” all the time that I sacrificed a great few friendships. I’ve learned over the years that life isn’t necessarily black and white; there is no right or wrong, just a whole lot of different shades of grey.

The more that I mature in this world the more I come to realise that the less judgemental you become, and the further away you distance yourself from trying to be right, the easier life becomes. Why can’t we live and let live? I’d also like to say that these are my own opinions and they’re not necessarily correct!! Like I say, a whole lot of grey.

A good person will accept responsibility.

Wouldn’t we respect our governments far more if someone from there just stood up and said, “Uh, yeah, that was me. I made a terrible mess of things, now I need to sort it” And the same can be said for normal people. People that stand up and accept responsibility for their mess ups rather than shamefully hiding them away actually get respect. But, the fact is that they’ve stood up and said, yep, my fault and now they’re willing to try and put things right. Respect.

A good person will know that being nice isn’t everything

Being nice is great, but people can’t be nice all the time. At some point there’s going to be some sort of conflict. People that are super nice constantly have a secret agenda. That’s just the way it is. A good person will stand by their morals and ethics and sometimes that requires a bit of managing conflict.

A good person will sacrifice their own needs for the greater good

If you are ditching your family to go and help some bimbo in a mini-skirt, or some muscle bound douche at 3am in the morning then that’s not what I meant. I mean someone that is willing to give up their swimming time in the afternoon so they can teach their son football or their daughter hockey after school. You see? Sacrifice the self for the greater good

A good person will help others with no hidden agenda

In essence a good person will help a friend move house, or lift a friend to the hospital or be the designated driver for a night out without asking or hoping for a return, monetary or otherwise. They will just do it for the feeling of being good to someone.

A good person will listen

A good person will listen until the cows come home. By that colloquialism I mean a good person will listen to you until you need to be listened to. Good people generally lend an ear to anyone that needs it, but don’t abuse that or you might see the wrong side of them.

A good person will have boundaries

People who know themselves usually have a lot of respect from their peers. And generally their peers know how far they can go before they’ve overstepped the mark. I’ve had people that I’ve never met ask me really personal stuff to which I’ve had to tell them to kindly stop asking me those questions. Good people equally know how far they can go with others, and not want to push it.

End

And that’s all I can think of. Obviously not an exhaustive list, and if you think of any more, please feel free to comment! 🙂

Further reading

Why Men Don’t Listen and Women Can’t Read Maps
The Definitive Book of Body Language: How to Read Others’ Attitudes by Their Gestures
No More MR Nice Guy

bad body language habits that escalate fights and what to do instead

When I say no

 

6 Harsh Realities of a Good Person
SHARE
I'm a man that's been through the pitfalls and elations of relationships in my ever growing quest to better my knowledge in the human condition. I've been in the game and around the Internet since 1996 and surprisingly I'm still using it today. I've definitely found myself in some weird and wonderful places and I hope to share all of this with you lucky people.

2 COMMENTS

  1. Yes all of these for sure – very well observed. The second one is so true and I am realising that more and more as I get older, perennially ‘nice’ people who claim they don’t like being in the limelight often turn out to be egomaniacs.

    I saw this when I was a press & pr photographer – I would attend an event (often civic or VIP events where egos tend to congregate!) and when I was assembling groups for pictures, there would be loads of fake, ‘oh no, you don’t want ME in the picture, there are far more deserving people here’, then they would stand back and wait for everyone to beg them to be in the shot.

    After a few years, I hardened up and the minute a ‘good’ ‘shy’ ‘modest’ person started with their BS, I would say ‘ok, fine’ and ignore them. Then I would see their true colours as they tried to backtrack! Great article.

    • Thank you! And yep. You’re so right. And that was me you described, 15 years ago – I loved the attention.

      Never give an eternally nice person an ounce of power. It goes right to their head.

      I remember the first rule book I had to write in my first managerial position I had – my Manager had to come down to me and say, “Uh, Raymond, this is a place of care – not a Military prison ran by Hitler.”

      So I learned and learned. But yup. You’re SO right 🙂

Leave a Reply