Meeting up with that special someone for the first date can be an exciting yet scary adventure. What do I wear? Is my hair OK? Will she dress nice? What will we talk about? Will she come back to mine? And a hundred other questions you may find skimming over your head whilst you get ready. Those first date nerves are the same for everyone; we all get nervous when it comes down to it, if we don’t, we’re good at masking our inner-terror lol. So what are the best things to do? What are the best things to say? Where to take her? I’m sure you’ve thought out all these questions in explicit detail. Have you? If not; let’s get started.
Your job not to mess it up
Remember the film Hitch with Will Smith? One of my favourite dating quotes comes from this: “When you’re wondering what to say or how you look, just remember, she’s already out with you. That means she said yes when she could have said no. That means she made a plan when she could have just blown you off. So that means it’s no longer your job to make her like you. It’s your job not to mess it up.”
~Hitch (Will Smith)
You hear that? I like it, it’s an alternative way at looking at things. She likes you right? Just don’t fuck it up. So when women give you some friendly advice to be yourself on your first date, it would be wise to listen to them 🙂
I debated whether to put this one in here or not but I’ve known a few people that could have done with this piece of advice in the past. So wearing that Tuxedo to the bowling alley is probably a sucky idea, and wearing casual-wear to the fancy restaurant is an even suckier idea. It may be an idea to wash too, so if you’re a car mechanic you don’t want to be going out smelling of petrol or something worse. Trust me, I thought it best to put this in here! And Jesus, lay off the Lynx, Axe, Brut or whatever the hell you’ve bathed yourself in. It’s nice to smell fresh but not taste it with dinner 🙂
Decide where you’re going to take her:
I love Hitch the movie – watch this:
People can learn a lot from this film if you read between the lines. Hitch was a spontaneous, sharp-dressing and awe-inspiring man. Every client he worked with he introduced them in a shocking way, “Shock and Awe” he said. So it’s probably great that you’ve booked a reservation at the new fancy place in town – however, next time what about finding out what she likes and take it from there? Playing to the Hitch ethos slightly. Is she a car maniac? Why not surprise her by taking her to the next road show that’s near town. Is she a poetry-fanatic? Why not take her on a date to the local poetry slam. Then you have accomplished quite a few things by just that action alone. You’ve shown her that a) you’ve listened, b) care about her interests, and c) care enough that you want her to be happy. It’s all pretty basic stuff! Why are us guys so oblivious lol.
You’ll see this is a theme with me throughout this blog. Listen to what she has to stay, a fundamental thing us guys get wrong is not actively listen, women are generally good listeners; their attention is far more evolved than hours. I think this is a primal thing. So, get your eyes of her boobs/bum/legs/figure/whatever and get listening to what she has to say. I’m not saying don’t admire her, just don’t look at her as if she is meat on a stick because she’ll instinctively know you’re not listening!
Show her you’re confident enough to take the lead
I’m all for relationships being two way but if you let her lead all the time on your date then you’re not going to see her again. She’ll run away faster than you could pay for dinner. Women love to be lead, and that includes on your first date so make sure you walk in wherever you’re going first and hold the door open for her. Chivalry certainly isn’t dead!
DON’T BE A DICK! Unless you are, and then that’ll help her make the decision to run. Don’t scorn waiters, don’t be angry at people, just generally relax, let people off and chill. The first minute she smells you being a wanker to anyone else (unless it reeeeally requires it) she’ll run a fucking mile. She’ll quite rightly attribute your attitude to what the rest of her life with you will be like and you’ll never hear from her again. You have been warned 🙂