by Hasani Ali
On most occasions, our main objective during passionate sex is the end result—the orgasm.
Sadly, it turns into a sadistic competition; mainly where the man is typically at bat with hopes that he can last long enough for his lady’s pleasure requirements
When it comes to sex in the modern world, we anticipate the huge drop on a roller coaster ride without enjoying the entire journey.
Essentially, we practice sex as a sport. It’s time to fix that.
Fellas, we can be stallions without any of the pressure. We can make her toes curl, body squirm and lose her breath as she lies lost in a riddle of ecstasy.
Ladies, if you’ve only experienced monkey sex (rough humping) throughout your love journey, then it’s time for an upgrade. Experiencing a full-body orgasm will change your perception of sex completely!
Sex should be a divine journey between partners. According to the book, “Tao of Sexology,” by Dr. Stephen Chang, the act of sex should be out of ‘love’ and not ‘lust.’
Of course, we all have lust for our sexual partners, hence why we want to have sex with them.
The intimacy goes south when we decide to use each other to masturbate. Yes, many of us tend to use our partners just to ease our sexual urges. The difference is that we utilize someone else’s genitals rather than our hands.
If we use sex properly, we can develop a deeper connection with ourselves and our partners. The benefits are limitless from rejuvenation to a boost of energy—not to mention the pleasure goes on and on!
So why slow down the sex? It builds tension!
In a society of instant gratification, we would want pleasure at the snap of a finger or a click of a button. When it comes to sex, it’s not that easy.
The orgasm begins for the woman before she even hits the bedroom. Women need to orgasm in their mind before it occurs in the body. That’s a clue for the fellas.
This has to be directed towards the men a wee bit more since the pressure is more on men to deliver pleasure during sex.
Once the woman has given consent that she’s ready for a pleasant sexual experience, here’s the perfect time to slow your role and give her something that she may never felt before.
Here are four simple tricks to prolong the sexual experience and compose the sexual song that you’ve always wanted to hear:
Start Off With A Massage
Ok, so everyone is excited at this point. You’re either in the bedroom or making your way there. This isn’t the time to get your heart rate up! Orgasm occurs at the peak of sexual excitement. If your heart is racing before any penetration, then you’re already halfway there! That’s a bad thing by the way. As the LIGHT kissing and petting has commenced, slowly begin to disrobe. Building sexual tension is imperative for enjoyment. The excitement rises as both partners unveil their naked bodies, layer by layer.
Ladies, keep his blood pumping by keeping your bra and panties on. Imagine your undies as a fancy gift wrap before he gets to the present.
Fellas, keep your cool and have your favorite oil prepared, slightly heated. That can range from massage oil to almond oil. Have your lady lie on her stomach and slowly concentrate on separate parts of her body. The massage will allow her to relax and lower her guard. As your deeply penetrating each body parts with your hands, imagine that your hands are making love to her legs, back, shoulders, calves, feet and buttocks. This her sneak peak as to how you’re going to make love to her.
Control Your Breathing
As previously stated, we don’t want to invite the height of our sexual excitement until much later. As the partners are engaging, the breaths should be deep—through the nose, briefly hold and out the mouth. Breathing deeply provide a rush of oxygen throughout our body. How does that benefit you? It heightens your senses! Everything bit of pleasure is magnified when your breathing is controlled.
Slow Down Your Touch
Don’t be so quick to jam your hands down your lover’s pants! Use your hands, lips, tongue and chest to explore all the parts of your lover’s body. It enhances the sensuality and the connection is deeper once all body parts are explored. The ladies will develop a deeper trust for you as the act becomes more about enjoying her rather than just enjoying her vagina. This can also help the fellas by building their anticipation. Women who are good at teasing men understand the art of seduction. This erotic play leads the man on, but the wanting of the union between him and the woman grows drastically. This type of foreplay is how the emotions intertwine before the bodies do! This can never be neglected if you want mind-blowing sex.
Slow Your Stroke
THIS IS A BIG ONE! No pun intended. When we’re in the midst of sex with our partners, we can help but want to pull out our bag of tricks. We want to show off all our skills, whether it’s all the freaky positions we’ve learned or how rough we can give the goods. In many cases the ladies want to show the fellas how well that can take it! All that good, nothing wrong with that. However, when it comes to having that addiction-like type of sex, the journey is the anticipation. We are so quick to get right to the pounding. Honesty, many vaginas are not built to take that kind of wear and tear. It’s time we get delicate with the vaginas. Sex is supposed to be a healing act. The monkey sex episode is ok every now and again, but it’s not the only thing. Fellas, it’s time that we vary up our strokes a bit. Our only motion is IN and OUT. Try mixing it up with a few short strokes and a couple long strokes. This way, you’re giving pleasure to all areas to the vagina. Mind you, the first 3 inches of the vagina is where women experience the pleasure, according to many studies. Try simple combination of 4 shallow strokes, then 2 deep ones. Mix It up how you like, the more variation, the more zones that are covered. Take your time. Enjoy the feeling. Enjoy each other.
This is the type of sex that R&B singers refer to. Sex can literally go on and on to the break of dawn if you desire. Making love all night is never a chore when the true enjoyment is the other person and not just the genital stimulation.
Did I mention that you’re giving your body and organs a break?! Each time we indulge in back-breaking, gladiator-like monkey sex, we’re taxing our organs heavily. That’s why we burn so many calories during the activity. We know it’s good when we roll off one another and we lie panting heavily on our side of the bed. It is like a workout! Our organs go into overdrive, just like when we go running or lifting weights.
Remember that sex begins before penetration. Follow these simple steps and your lovemaking sessions will last AT LEAST 1 hour. Prepare for an enlightening experience.
Peace, Love and Gratitude,
Co-Author of the book, “Fasting: Make Your Love Electric”