Why I stopped looking for love. My story.
Imagine me as a young 20-something, wandering around my local geographical area like a lost soul desperately trying to cling onto something that will give him any glimpse of affection. You see, I was a man separated from his family, in another country and on the prowl for a partner to complete him. I had moved to work and live with my Dad at the tender age of 19; and Dad being Dad thought it was of the utmost importance that I find my own way in life. How wrong did he actually have it.
Some people aren’t as strong as others, some people need that family connection from early years well into their Marriage and beyond. I was a sensitive soul; although it may not appear it on the surface, life troubled me deeply, and still does. I may seem strong and robust and ready to tackle life’s stiffest problems, yet it is the strongest people that are the most sensitive. Defy our trust and the world comes crashing down like a ton of bricks.
From my late teens all the way until I met my wife was spent trawling everywhere for my life partner; hell, I didn’t stop. Always on the lookout, never any rest. I was conflicted. A conflicted man between what society says that I should have and what I obviously did not have. When society tells a person they should be “x” but in actual fact they are “y” then we have a conflict. Welcome to my story.
It was a hot summer; and as usual I had spent most of it drowning my self hatred at the bottom of a beer glass. My psychological demand for alcohol had increased so much that Season that I had lost my job over it. Too many sick days as an excuse to spend it in the pub. My employment advisor was telling me that I should go back into Office work and she had a fantastic voluntary opportunity for me.
You know those parts in life that absolutely change it for the better? This was one of them. Through my voluntary position I was encouraged to go to counselling and work on my life through a combination of CBT, Psychotherapy and a range of other help. It was then that I started to enjoy life. Wow!! This is fun just being, well, me! Finding and owning my own individuality was pivotal to my success.
I started to venture into new areas. I discovered that I liked learning and teaching others what I had learned; I also tapped into a heavily creative streak that I didn’t even know existed. I travelled and I conquered. I learned to drive, joined groups, met new people and wow. Life had landed, finally!!
And then.. after taking my eye off the ball for a few years the love of my life landed, glided in, knocked me for six. And showed me real love, real passion. Really how to live life!!
So you see. This is why I say when you start to live your life and forget about what others are doing or who you want to date. Things.. well, they just happen 🙂