First of all I’d like to say thanks to DammitJami.com for the mention on her latest blog post. A great womans perspective to my post Does Penis size REALLY matter? I think we both concur!
Us Men! Grrr. Observation!
Hey ladies, yep, I’m talking to you again! You lovely, lovely women that you are. I take it by now you’ve noticed that us men aren’t the most observant in the world. In fact you could probably have life-altering all over plastic surgery and he wouldn’t bat an eyelid. He’d say “Hi Susan” when your name is actually “Jane”. We’re probably not as bad as that but you get the image. Men, when it comes to observation = sadly lacking.
So you want to tell the guy that you’re interested in, that you’re interested. It’s a fair deal, we men aren’t the best at picking up on who’s interested in us and who isn’t, and it’ll probably give you an incline if he’s going to be interested in you too. Let’s get to it. On with the show.
Before you recoil in utter disgust that I am suggesting that you ask a man out on a date because we all know that what that subliminally tells him. I mean the more subtle form of “Hey, I’m going to the boat racing tomorrow, it’ll be a nice day, you should come” and then that should spark his curiousity, plus you can get to know him better without the pressures of you both being on a date, or an “official date” – and whatever happens on the day you should roll with it. Just be open and friendly, and for god sakes let him make the first move! Of course this will only work if you know him better than just saying “hey” as you pass in the corridor, so remember that. No asking people you barely speak to you.
Wear something nice
I’m sure all of you have tried this before in some form or another but really the trick is to find a good inbetweener. Something that fits your body and flaunts your assets without revealing too much. Too much skin will leave us only thinking about one thing.
Let me tell you about us men. There’s a centre in our mind that processes women, you may have it too. But we categorise girls into “who I would like to meet my mother” and “woah (can’t think because this is where my dick takes over)”. When you invoke the latter reaction a man will see you as a bit of meat on a stick. He won’t see you as a human being to be cuddled, and loved and hugged and taken places; he will see you as a fucktoy and he’ll probably forget about you after a new toy comes along. Sad, but true.
When you wear something beautiful but not overtly revealing and he notices you, it will stimulate inquiry, intrigue, mystery and of course “what does she look like without clothing” but of course, he won’t know. All part of the game. Men notice when women are at their best, so don’t worry, he’ll notice you one way or the other.
Laugh with him
If you’re a man reading this were you ever lucky enough to have a early 20’s lady laugh at ALL your jokes because she wanted to be with you? I was, several times, but I’m going to let you into a little secret and I would expect older ladies would have perfected this by now. It’s annoying, it really is. Yep, I suspect you’ve probably gotten lucky in the past with some douche with such a monstrous ego that you’ve just had to laugh at everything to make it comfortable. Well, it’s generally uncomfortable and here’s how to better it.
Our ego’s are large but actually very fragile, think of them as a large glass Chandelier in an open hall. One crack and it will all come crumbling down!! Sometimes just missing a social queue will do it depending on the man. no I don’t mean he’ll have to be admitted for intensive psychiatric treatment but you may find him more closed off than usual.
A good workaround would be to agree with us, share our experiences, make us feel comfortable, laugh on occasion *not all the time!*, listen to us, and be sad with us. Don’t overdo it though or you’ll seem like a doormat. Perhaps what I’m trying to say is there is a term called mimicking. It is when someone copies the body language of the other – it generally means that they like you (generally). So mimic their ideas and woes too! Get him right into you 🙂
Don’t exclude him
One of my pet hates is when someone doesn’t answer the phone. My (now) wife always picked up when I called her. Similarly if you’ve arranged to go partying with Jessica but Dave hasn’t seen you in a week and wants to do something, why not invite Dave along? Even if he would rather die than go out with two girls then you are transmitting your availability to him. You’re interested, you’re up for it. A lot of people get the balance of this wrong. Some people just want to be around far too much and smother the people they like, and others far too little. Find a balance that’s good for you.
The same can be applied to exclusion on many levels. At work, opening him into a conversation whilst you’re talking on a social level with your colleagues, out with friends: if you’re sat at McDonalds invite him to sit with you. Never exclude it breeds suspicion and secrets! Always be honest to yourself.
That’s all I could think of for today. I hope you enjoyed this!