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A Survivor’s Prayer

Our Father
Our Father
Who art in Heaven
Our Father
Who art in Heaven
And provides a blistering Hell
Hallowed be thy name
Father, Daddy, Dad
Father who art in Heaven
Pardon et moi
Our Father
Loathing you
Screaming through
Your sky until my
Hoarse voice
Offends the Seraphim
(They never liked me anyway)
Hail Mary, Ave Mary
And pardon me
But thank You
For the delerium
Through adolescence
For the divorce that gave me
Depression, dyslexia, schizophrenia
Forgive my trespasses, forgive them
From that time with Katie or Leah
(I was only eight)
To the grapefruit incident
(I didn’t mean to hit her
No, Yes, I did)
Let pass the time I hit
My mother with the
7-up bottle
(The bullwhip and the wooden
spoon told the flyswatter
to tell me to)
Make allowances Father
For the quarters I’ve
Stolen and white
Lies to make me look
Better for
The one shot too many–
God, that felt good
Thank you
Thank you but
Don’t pardon me
For the broken chastity
You let them Father
You let them rape me
into promiscuity
Hate my loathing Father
Retaliate against my malice
Aridity
Detestable God
Hear my prayer
Help me
Help me with my dishes