You may have noticed my voice absent on TRB over the last several months. I’ve been navigating some serious career transitions, role transitions in our family, physical transitions (we’re expecting a baby!), and just overall figuring out where my priorities are. Sadly, writing for myself has fallen right off the edge as I write and write and write. . . . . for school.
But all these transitions have given me a new appreciation for how important communication is in my own partnership and how important it can be in every relationship we have.
I’ve shared in the past that a lot of the communication Nateanite and I do is via text – we use Google Hangouts a whole lot! The professional transitions I’ve been experiencing have meant that I am less available for conversation during the work day and that has meant a transition in our communication. It’s been hard! We are tired at the end of the day so hashing out changes in our childcare schedule, what we need to get done before the meeting with the mortgage broker (they try to kill you even before you’ve met face-to-face!), enrolling kids in pre-school, talking about unusual bills can turn into a minefield. It’s not what we’re going for, but exhaustion can turn easy things into very hard things.
The recognition that our exhaustion affects our communication has led me to open with statements like “I’ve had this on my mind and want to talk about it, but I’m really tired and feeling extra sensitive.” That has helped a lot. Acknowledging that we’re human and have shortcomings is an important reminder to have.
What are some ways that you and your partner acknowledge your own shortcomings in your communication?