Getting a divorce is one of the biggest decisions you’ll ever have to make. Many years ago, you made a pact with your partner that you’d be together for life, for better or for worse. Whilst that seemed plausible at the time, we all grow in life, and some of us grow away from each other, rather than closer together. This is nothing to be ashamed of and it cannot possibly be foreseen, especially on that special day when you were so in love. However, before you decide to take the plunge and get a divorce, you need to ask yourself: am I ready? If the following things apply to you, then there is a possibility that you are.
You’ve seriously considered it
The first step to realising that you’re ready for a divorce, is that you’ve even considered it. Whilst we may all think about it at some point, if you’ve been seriously contemplating living a life that no longer involves your husband or wife, then you’re already halfway there. If you were truly happy, the chances are that this wouldn’t come into your head, so you have to ask yourself: would I have thought about this if I didn’t truly want it? Of course, you can be at a low point in your marriage, and you may think that these thoughts will simply go away. But don’t just disregard them; thinking about why you’re having them and whether they’re logical is important.
You can’t fix your marriage
Whether you’ve been on the brink of getting a divorce for a while, or you’ve only just realised that this is no longer what you want, there is usually a feeling that the issues you and your spouse are having just cannot be fixed. You may have told your husband or wife over and over again that their behaviour is upsetting you, only to find that they haven’t made one bit of effort to change their actions. If you feel like you’re talking to a brick wall, then it may be for the best that you accept this: if they haven’t changed after you asking them to do it before, they won’t do it now. Whatever the reason behind their lack of change is, you have to ask whether you are willing to accept it.
It’s based on logic, not emotion
Ok, so your partner may have come home late from the pub again, or been unfaithful to you again, and this time you’ve really had enough of the way that they’re treating you. But don’t make a rash decision, pack all of your bags and leave the same night, as acting solely on emotion is unlikely to get you anywhere. Think, think, and think again about what you’re going to do. Go away for a few days and think about it, and decide what you’re going to say to your partner. Lashing out and declaring that you want a divorce straight away will not only make the claims seem illegitimate, but you also won’t be able to say what you want to say. When you know that your thoughts are based upon logic, you’ll know that you’re ready for a divorce.
You find yourself looking elsewhere
Whilst this is something that none of us truly want to admit, you may find yourself looking elsewhere. Perhaps you’ve been flirting with a colleague, and this bit of excitement is what you look forward to during the day. If you’re not looking forward to seeing your spouse, and you can imagine yourself in a relationship with somebody else, then you’re probably ready to get a divorce. Yes, looking at others and finding them attractive is a different issue, but you’ll know this feeling when you get it. Rather than being unfaithful to your spouse, think long and hard about whether a divorce would be better, and would hurt them less. This way, you can split more amicably, too.
You want a complete change in lifestyle
If you’re ready for a divorce, you’ll feel like a change in lifestyle would be good for you. You’re willing to say goodbye to your old life, and you’re willing to accept the repercussions of a divorce in order to live more happily, without being bound to your partner. You must be ok with letting them go completely before you take the plunge, and whilst you’ve probably shared a home together, you may have to say goodbye to this, too. If you’re excited for what the future holds and you’re ready to embrace change, then a divorce could be the best thing for you. If you know you’re truly ready for a new life, then get in touch with a solicitors, like Eatons, to see what your options are.
You’re not staying out of sympathy or sentimentalism
One of the main issues that people have when it comes to getting a divorce is that they feel sorry for their spouse, or they’re scared to hurt them, or they don’t hate them. You may also feel like you’ve been together for a long time, so why part ways now? Needless to say, this is not the right reason to stay in a marriage. Sure, you may not hate your partner, but this doesn’t mean that you’re truly happy in your relationship. Staying because you’ve stayed for the last 20 years is also not a path towards happiness, so ask yourself: why am I really here? If it isn’t because of love, and genuine happiness, then you could be missing out on a relationship (or a life alone) that could provide that. And why should you?
So, there are many ways to know that you’re ready for a divorce, and if you’re dealing with some of the feelings we’ve expressed above, then you could be ready to take a visit to a solicitor or have a conversation with your partner about how you really feel. Ultimately, you’ll probably know when you’re ready, but use logic rather than emotional outbursts, and decide what you really want. Everything else will fall into place.