Men, Let’s Start a Momentum!
I can’t be the only man that’s tired.
I can’t be the only man that sits there and shakes his head as I scroll past yet another post, or video, or picture of women demonstrating against violence against women. I hear their stories, I read them all the time, I see them everywhere and anywhere, but I’m sure if anything is being done about their struggle. I know I’m not doing anything about it. I’m really not. I can make excuses to myself that I’m helping men be better people all the time, but if I truly look into what’s happening with women, I don’t feel I’m making a big enough dent. Not enough for people to take notice, or even care.
I really can’t be the only man who hates the fact that there are men out there sending women dick pics, who think it’s acceptable to grope women in public, who dare to catcall them when they are strolling by.
Dudes, this isn’t acceptable.
I’m sure there are many, many other men that feel the same way. It cannot just be me. But no-one at the top of the pyramid with enough clout, or not that I have seen has been bothered to do anything about it. Despite the #metoo movement. Women are collectively screaming to be heard. Yet, like I have, we men just shake our heads and think of the man causing a #metoo as “yet another arsehole that brings our gender down,” again. I swear I’ve lost count of how many times I’ve said “I hate the actions of some men.” I don’t like how it makes me appear as a stereotype, if I’m honest.
If you’re the same, let’s do something about it. Let’s start a trend. Let’s make it so damn scary for men to act in the same way that they have previously done because they know they’ll be called out on it not just by women, but by other men. Let’s put dampeners on hyper-masculinity. Let’s pull the breaks on locker room talk. Let’s educate our male peers on the simplest forms of sexism. Let’s force the difficult talks on people that aren’t aware. Let’s call out our friends when they call their partners neurotic bitches, and let’s firmly halt any forms of sexism whatsoever.
Let’s make a difference.
I’ve pondered this for a few days now. How can I, simple me, make a god-damned difference against the sexism so ingrained in our society that most men don’t even know that they are implicit in furthering it? How do I tackle something so re-inforced that some people will stop at nothing, and I mean nothing, to keep the status quo? It sounds hard, doesn’t it? It’s quite conundrum. It fucks with your head, as it does mine, but I think I’ve found an answer. I really think I have.
I’m going to appeal to cis-presenting, heterosexual men that are in the know, and I know there are a lot of you out there. Men that roll their eyes at locker talk, men that stand by and silently watch as their friends degrade their partners all the while hating it. Men that don’t speak up but want to. Men that speak up and aren’t heard. Men, everywhere.
This is your chance to speak up and be heard – because for women right now it’s quite lonely. I doubt they even know there’s a whole load of us out there, ready, willing for something to spark them into motion, to make a chance, to speak up for goddamned once. To challenge that which has had us silenced for so long. Because, in truth it’s not that we don’t want to speak up that we stay silent; It’s because we’re too afraid to challenge the hetero-masculine norm. I stand tall in saying I’ve always been too scared to speak up.
But how? How do we do this? Well, for starters you can share this tweet. You can start by saying that you will stand for this shit no longer, no more. You are tired of being equivilated to the lowest denominator, because you know in yourself, you’re far better than that. You want to see a change, make a change, be the driving force for this change. Let’s stand up with women and be counted. Let’s be the change that we want to see.[bctt tweet=”I stand with women. I will no longer stay silent. I want to #bebetter. Women, #ihearyou” username=”freetodate1″]
Well, actions speak louder than words my friend. Follow through with what you’ve said. This isn’t a funding campaign where you pay and then forget about it. Share, be heard and follow through with your actions. We can’t just share and then forget about it — what would be the point in that? We have to stand tall and be true to our words. We need to call it out when the bullshit-o-meter starts ringing. We need to defend nonviolence against women. Stop the locker room talk in its tracks because it is degrading and reinforces rape culture. Correct your friends when they are being sexist, and give actually give a damn when your female-presenting friends and partners want to be heard.
This could be a start.
A new beginning in an epic change. Maybe I’m too small of a blogger to make this happen, but I’d love to support more men in speaking up, just as I support women by making space for their stories on this site. Men, we need to rally for the right causes. Especially those of us at the top of pyramid of privilege. Don’t be afraid to recognise your status and speak up. Let’s get the ball rolling. Let’s make some momentum!