This is Day 6 of the 30 Day #LinkYourLife Challenge
Day 6 Write a false memory
My experience with Sky TV
I’m not sure exactly what this day 6 task was meant to be. Nevertheless, I do have a false memory in my head, one that on occasion I struggle to get out. When I was very young, at the grand old age of 19 I was a bit of a liar. Ok, perhaps a HUGE liar. In my defence though I didn’t lie to be nasty. I lied because I didn’t have much self-confidence. And sometimes telling the truth, however hard that may feel at times, was just above my skillset. You see I’d fuck up epically and then lie about it. I wasn’t the best at it either, but because of my low self-esteem issues I’d just roll with it anyway, and kid myself that people believed me.
This was probably the best lie that I have ever told. Not that I’m proud of it.
Perhaps some of you reading this now would be thinking, “wow. Shit, really??!”
It all started one day when my job ended at the restaurant that I worked at. It was getting to the low season, and people really didn’t need kitchen porters when there was no-one visiting their establishment. Small town-England is like that, and especially rural Suffolk. We get incredibly hot and sunny summers that can last for months, and cold, dark, wet and snowy winters. No-one is out, and everywhere either runs on a skeleton crew or closes down for the season completely. Our place was no exception to the rule. I was just a helping hand, and expendable. I didn’t have any special required skills like say a chef has. I was ten to a penny (meaning I was easily replaceable).
I ended back signing on for a few weeks. Signing on back then wasn’t too bad. People on the other end were helpful and really did try and get me employment. It’s when the position to actually work at the Job Centre came about. I read the application and the skills that were required I already had. Admin, customer service and a positive outlook towards getting people employment. I felt I had all of those skills and could meet the requirements of the job through my previous experience. But the job did require a certain amount of experience with administration. I did have experience of course. I had experience with admin whilst I was at college, and also at my Dads place of work, but less than a total of 5 months.
So I invented my job at Sky. Completely fabricated an entire year or so of experience out of thin air. I had a good friend at Sky who was often telling me stories of his adventures there, and of course I had at least six months administration experience. I was going to combine the two. And invent a life that I never had. I was going to be one of the best damn employees that place had ever had and they were going to be SO sad to have me leave for England.
They say to tell a convincing lie it needs to be as close to the truth as you can possibly get. Only deviating from it when it’s necessary. I didn’t know it back then but that’s what I did. Applying to be a casual civil servant was different from other jobs, although I dare say it’s much different now. They had open questions during the interview that were asked and you could fill them in any way that you saw fit.
Luckily I had a fascinatingly inventive imagination back then. Before the interview I had invented a whole series of happenings and events that had went on at my time with sky. I had combined my friends tales with my experience and was ready to pursue an avenue of deception to get the job.
Funnily though, I didn’t give any examples of my time at sky tv because they weren’t required. The questions that I was asked were easily filled by experience that I already had. And they were looking for subservience and obedience at the time. And being one of the most obedient people I knew back then I completely fit that bill. I gained the job on completely my own merits.
But that didn’t stop me from continuing the lie. Something had clicked inside me. I had started off an imaginary trail of instances and happenings at Sky TV that I really couldn’t turn off. And I would start telling people tales over the bar stool of my times at Sky, and random chats with my friends here and there over my time at Sky. Worryingly, I began to thoroughly believe my lie. And, if you had called me out on my bullshit when I was 20, I would have told you that you were crazy. And argued all night about it. But no-one did. Because I totally believed that I worked there.
It was only until I was in Psychiatric hospital that “the lie” slowly but surely was gently reprogrammed. Well, I say gently, more like harshly. Maybe I’ll speak about those days. Maybe.
And now I sit here with faint memories of working at Sky TV when I never did, at all.
Life is a funny old game. And it’s how we play it that makes the difference. Just please, take it from an ex thieving, alcoholic, gambling, drug smoking compulsive liar that there should be only one way to run life. Truth, honesty, love, and respect.