As I get older and more stuck in my ways, its become harder to find people who aren’t incredibly overprotective. Not of their kids, nope. Overprotective of their own hearts.
Not only that, they withhold even trying to love outward. I get it for the most part, but letting go of our hurtful pasts doesn’t mean losing the lessons or understanding of why things happened how they did or why we weren’t a good match.
I recently I started a new relationship. I’m 50 in a few months and my partner just turned 44. Typical story, we both have been through crazy hard times. Tragic accidents and early deaths. Heartache and the rest of that salad. We were both so excited. We found each other after all these years but little things started popping up.
Trust. That’s the big one that creeps in and before you know it has its death grip on the throat of passion.
Then the assumptions. These bad boys want nothing more than to turn you into every ex your partner ever dated. Depending on your partner’s previous selections, this can be a pretty hardcore list of evil and possessiveness and the most difficult to overcome.
I have been called the most antagonistic, hateful, hypocritical, cheating, controlling partner to ever date her. Not true of course; I’m only a few of these things and not even half the level the others were.
Truth is, I’m not like those guys at all. Ok, we all have some of these issues but I truly want an honest as possible, informed, fair, respectful and loving relationship that can survive whatever our or others’ lives throw at it. She has also been a cheater, lying manhater at the fault of me.
I just don’t think we gave it the chance.
While we were spending time all googly eyed with each other…our histories’ demons were scratching at us in order to “protect” us.
What we really needed was something to protect us from ourselves.
So next time you older folks decide to mix with other older folks, give each other the chance to know who you’re dealing with. You owe it to yourselves because if you don’t. That rocking chair on the porch is going to slope to one side and you will have missed the happy ending we all are looking for one way or another.
I wish I could rewind time right now.