Tough Love from a Psychic:  Learn to Trust and Develop Your Own Intuition

Sometimes, people call a psychic when they fear their partner is cheating on them or they want to know if a somewhat dramatic romantic situation will magically resolve itself into a happily ever after scenario.

I don’t actually want to give you tough love; I simply want you to save your money in these situations and find emotional healing.  If you feel panicky enough to call a psychic to determine the probability of your relationship or your partner’s faithfulness, your relationship has more than a few issues.

Your money would be better spent investing in a healer, a Jungian therapist, a supportive counselor, or possibly group therapy. A skilled healer, who can step away from his or her ego, can use unconditional love to help you release wounds. A healer can put you more in touch with fears you should tend to lovingly.  A healer might use intuition to help you recognize the light and truth of your highest path.

A Jungian therapist can help you better understand the signs and symbols of your subconscious to better navigate your life.  Life tends to be self-corrective, and your lessons can either be learned quickly or you can persist and learn lessons in difficult ways.  Paying attention to the signs can save you time.

A counselor might help you identify patterns of codependency or addiction which can negatively impact relationships, as well as help you work on new behaviors and thought patterns.  If you are highly depressed, you might need to consider many different options, including medical help, to best take care of yourself.

Also, classes where you might make new friends might also be a better investment than a psychic when you are feeling fearful about your relationship. Furthering your education or doing something kind for yourself can make you feel more secure in this world.

Never pay large sums of money to a psychic who claims that they can remove a “curse” from you or your relationship.  This is a scam, and a great way to add more fear and paranoia into your life.  Instead, work on improving and following your intuition. This will give you more confidence and self-assurance in all areas of your life.

A Few Ways to Develop Your Intuition

Ask for signs to appear in your dreams, and be open to receiving helpful information.

Don’t get frustrated if the process takes weeks or months. Develop patience with yourself.  Keep a dream journal, and write expressively about your current situation.  Review this journal each week, and write down the most important insights in a few lines.

Write about your situation, and don’t censor yourself.

Consider trying automatic writing.  Write down everything on your mind.  Then, imagine your higher self responding to your current situation. Write out advice you would give yourself if you were much older and wiser. For years, I’ve written poetry and journals. Often, I knew the answers to many of my questions and problems in the moment. However, I often consciously chose to look the other way or didn’t bother reading what I wrote. Be sure to read back through your journals regularly and develop a plan of action to improve your life.

Meditate and calm your nervous system.

A meditation practice will eventually allow you to be more in the moment and more perceptive.  Silence is healing, but music can also be healing for many people.  Look into crystal bowls and healing frequencies. After meditation you will be more aware. Often, intuition is simply being aware enough to pay close attention to clues. Micro-expressions and other cues can help you better understand what is happening in your relationship. For instance, according to Dr. John Gottman, contempt is a good predictor that a relationship will not work.

Learn and practice new healthier habits, especially communication habits.

As you slow down and communicate differently with others, pay attention to how your body feels when you talk with certain people.  Don’t doubt your feelings and intuitions.  In fact, go deeper with these feelings and give yourself credit for your awareness.  Use the guidance that you are given when you receive it.

Learn the difference between fantasy/wishful thinking and fear.

Chances are good that the truth is somewhere in the middle of the best and worst outcome. Again, journaling can help you decipher these voices.  Ask for guidance from your angels and guides and notice when you experience synchornicities.

Accomplish a strenuous task on your own.

Climb a mountain. Learn to shoot a gun. Take a cooking class. Take a self-defense class.  Put an Ikea piece of furniture together. Do something that makes you feel independent and strong. Remind yourself that you can live with the truth with or without that person in your life. The truth will reveal itself to you.

Spending quiet time in nature can also heighten your senses.

You might come back to situations with greater clarity and peace. Make it a practice to give your fear away on a walk, and ask for greater clarity.  We can all forget to dedicate time to things that bring us joy.  Give yourself the gift of joy and self-care.

Find a supportive community and commit to this community.

We gain peace and perspective around others who care about our welfare.  We also learn what is best for ourselves as we give advice to others.

People who are in stable, loving relationships are generally not paying psychics to tell them this fact. They know it. When people call a psychic about a relationship where they have been cheated on or fear they have been cheated on, they usually don’t want to hear the truth. Rather, they are hoping to have a reason to doubt their own intuition. Listen to your gut, not the chatter in your mind.  The truth could be any number of situations, and the important thing to consider is what can be healed and what can’t be healed if the truth eventually comes to light?

  • Maybe your on-and-off again boyfriend emailed several women he dated in his past, hoping to escape getting back into a relationship with you. Maybe these women didn’t positively respond to him.  You are persistent, but he isn’t that happy with you.  That is why you fear he might be cheating on you.  He is on the lookout for a way out of your relationship.  He may not be currently cheating on you, but he feels trapped.  Can you live with that knowledge?
  • Maybe your wife had an affair because she assumed that everyone cheats based on her life experiences. However, she didn’t like feeling guilty and missed you.  She wants to be faithful for the rest of her life. Can you forgive her?
  • Maybe your fiancé texted several of his exes and asked for naked pics the very month he asked you to marry him. Would you go through with the wedding if this is the worst thing he’ll ever do—occasionally flirt and text other women?
  • Maybe your husband or wife is a drunk and only sleeps with others because of issues with addiction. Maybe if your partner got into recovery, he or she could eventually be faithful. There might be a learning curve and a period of readjustment to new behaviors. Are you willing to give this person the space and years to change and grow?
  • Maybe your husband accepted a blowjob from your gay friend, and you are fearing that he wants a woman at work. He’s been unfaithful, but not in the way you suspected.  How does this change things?
  • Maybe you are with a dishonest person who will cheat whenever he or she gets the opportunity and never feel guilty about it unless he or she is caught. This person might be a narcissist who is an expert at hiding and compartmentalizing his or her life.  If you know a few things about someone’s dishonesty, you can count on not knowing about a lot of other situations where this person has been dishonest or manipulative. What are you going to do to love and honor yourself?

Forgiveness:  If everything you fear is true but was out in the open, could you forgive and start again?  When is it not wise to continue trying? What are you choosing to overlook for the sake of kids, finances, or familiarity?  What are you not being honest about?  Most importantly, can you work on being true to your word?

It can be disorienting to know too much about situations and human nature.  You can lose interest in people easily when you are highly intuitive because it is boring to know the truth and hear lies come out of people’s mouths. Generally speaking, it is harder to be in a relationship when you know many of the contradictions within situations. However, these situations do make for interesting movies and stories. As Faulkner said, “…the only thing worth writing about is the human heart in conflict with itself.”

The most important thing that you can do is focus more on self-examination and self-acceptance.  Look inside at your own contradictions, and work on being true to your word.  Working on your contradictions will take pressure off others to live their lives exactly how you would prefer they live. That kind of control will eventually backfire, usually in dramatic ways. Be open to someone entering your life who doesn’t bring up fears for you; someone whose behavior isn’t alarming or frightening; someone who gives you peace.

If you work on giving love, being aware, paying attention, and being true to yourself, relationships will work out better. If you are not loved honorably in one situation, you still have the chance to behave honorably. If you treat others with dignity and openness, you have a better chance of finding a brighter, clearer love in your future.

Remember that the truth of every situation is love.

All the ways that we do not give love or honesty to others are the ways that we are lost or confused.  As Marianne Williamson says in Tears to Triumph “Only love is ultimately real and anything else is a temporary illusion manufactured by the mind.  What is not love does not actually exist.”

I knew this truth while in the afterlife. I took none of the pain with me, just the joy and love. Unfortunately, here in the material world, there is much evidence of all that isn’t love, and these moments seem quite real.  I think the greater point of existence and relationships with others is to focus on what is love and to honor that love. There might not be enough love in certain cases for a lasting relationship, but that doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t appreciate the ways that the person you were with tried to love you in his or her stumbling, broken ways.

Their light was trying to break through.  Don’t let their choices damage your ability to love. This will benefit you more than you can imagine. That is my best prediction for all of you. May you be blessed.

(I give intuitive and medium readings part-time, but my ultimate goal is to put you more in touch with your own intuition, guidance, healing, and connection.)

Show More

Tricia Barker

Tricia Barker experienced a profound near-death experience during her senior year of college, and this experience guided her to teach overseas, in public schools, and at the college level. National Geographic and A&E’s I Survived: Beyond and Back covered Tricia’s story. Currently, Tricia teaches English and Creative Writing at a beautiful community college in Fort Worth, Texas. Tricia’s memoir in-progress, Healed, chronicles the moment of her accident, her near-death experience, and other moments of trauma that affect many women. The book focuses on being of service to the world as one way to heal from trauma. Tricia’s poetry has been featured in The Binnacle, The Paterson Literary Review, and The Midwest Quarterly.

Leave a Reply

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

%d bloggers like this: