Why no-one is perfect and why you should stop looking for it

Perfection. This is an absolute rubbish word. I hate this word and I try and discourage everyone from using it unless it’s in a piece of writing like this. Whenever this word was invented then it sent off millions of people to try and reach unattainable goals. You see it everywhere, in the movies, on TV shows, on glossy magazines and tabloids. If you’re constantly looking for the “perfect partner” then good luck with that! Seriously, you’re looking for no-one, or anything that currently exists.

If you think about it realistically even Diamond is born from the ground horribly disfigured, oddly shaped and muddy. As soon as you start striving for perfection you’re going to fail. I was once a huge perfectionist. At times I would throw three days solid work in the bin because it wasn’t good enough. I was always searching for the elusive, infallible piece of work. You see it in the Daily Mail; beach tanned glistening babes which are no doubt photoshopped and similarly in the Hello Magazine; horrendously over edited women that you’ll never look like in a million years.


It doesn’t stop at the women though, let’s take a look at the Disney male role models, I’m sorry, us guys just aren’t like that! And you’ll be very lucky to catch a perfect prince – be prepared to have your head shoved under the covers as we laugh at the smell of our own farts, we’re just far from perfect!

You see, when we pair up together as a couple it’s not the completeness of a person that we become attracted to, it’s actually those little imperfections that drives us wild, even after a few years. On one of my first dates with my now wife we popped to the shop to get a few things and unbeknownst to me she snuck a few special K bars into my basket. When I realised this had happened I thought to myself.. O…K, I’m not so sure if I can deal with this in the future. Yet years down the line I find this incredibly cute about her. She’s so imperfect it’s adorable.

Forget what the media tell you; I know you want to be brilliant, I know you strive to be the best but wouldn’t it just be brilliant to know you aren’t the best? To know you’re a complete mess but that’s what you like about yourself? I like to think of myself as a really decent guy. I give my time to charity, I donate to charity, I help people that want help on the street, I’m a giver and not a taker – yet I’ll still wind the wife up constantly, get angry at my Mum, be a grumpy bastard in the morning and for no reason – only that I’m tired. You see? No matter how perfect you think you are, there’s always that part of you that drags you down to imperfection.

A great read on this would be I’m Ok, you’re OK – which is all about Transactional analysis and the way we conduct ourselves. Being humble with yourself and others around you. It’s good stuff 🙂

So what can you do? Be happier with what you have in life? I think that would be a good start. Listen, I was always a grass is greener on the other side kind of bloke, but that landed me in deep water a lot of the time. Never happy with what I had, always on the lookout for the next best thing, it can land you in more deep water than you plan to. And life is as easy, or as hard as you make it. Make it easy for yourself.

let go of the control

Now I’m not saying life is plain sailing, there are always those bricks that are thrown at us from above. Big, massive, brick bricks that smash everything that we were planning and hold dear, the huge curve balls in life that skew you off in an entirely different direction from where you were heading. But do as I do, learn from it, and chalk it down to going with the flow.

Control is at the very epicentre of our beings as humans, when we feel out of control that’s when we can really feel like the Tsunami’s are coming crashing down hard to get us. But learn to surf the Tsunami’s, learn to break them like a pro surfer-dude/dudette and get ready for the next one. As I say, life is as hard as you make it.

A great video on letting go of control would be this:

I like the way she speaks. Very enchanting 🙂

Anyway. I hope you enjoyed this post, look forward to more!

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Raymond is a Mental Health activist and cryptocurrency enthusiast. He fuels his activism by taking to the web and trying to create core change in the way people interact. As an ex-Community​ Manager, Raymond has a unique approach to communication and relationships and believes the way forward in life is improving the interactions between one another. Raymond started his blogging activities as a way to heal from a chequered past, and through this, his blog has become something far more empowering than he ever imagined. And thus, The Relationship Blogger Magazine was born.


  1. your post is quite interesting but there is nothing wrong with striving for perfection. to me it make a better you. even the diamond you made mention of in your post went through processes in order to be pure. the mistakes we make helps us become better us. even in relationship. we are not perfect and we can not see a perfect partner but with time we reach perfection together.

  2. Thank you Dimma! Lovely comment. I still don’t agree. Everything can be improved and there’s no such thing as perfection. I assume you get angry at times and fly off the handle (just like I do) is this perfection? 🙂 I still think it’s our imperfections that make us brilliant 🙂

  3. For human beings, perfection is completely out of the question. So yes Raymond i concur, Although i don’t know about things like diamond, what about the phrase “DIAMONDS ARE FOR EVER”? I have already shared this post with my friends as a reminder; not to be so keen on looking out for the perfect partner. Thanks for sharing.

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