Why we’re getting it wrong.

Why we’re getting it wrong

Ever feel pressurised into doing something that you don’t feel that would be right for you? I have. I’ve been told time and time again that I should seek proper employment and give this “blogging malarky” up. It’s not secure, it’s demanding and it doesn’t bring in a weekly wage, at least not yet anyway. I was advised by one person to apply for a job in Asda’s as a shelf stacker. Now you may be here thinking I’m being really arrogant and conceited right now but I’m not and I’ll tell you why.

If I know myself inside out, which consequently I do, then if I were to go out and seek any old job then I’d get trapped; and I’d slowly unwind as a person. If anyone knows me fully then I’m an artist at heart. I love the arts, coincidentally writing is my most favourite, and I also exist to create a difference. The last two places I worked at I challenged the grain of society and common perceptions of life. Imagine the diverse, and exciting situations I would find myself in constantly; the rush I would experience as one person gave me thanks for just making them smile that day, or the people whose journeys had changed so irrevocably you just know they’re now set on a completely different path.

All this good, all this work. You force me into thinking that “a job is a job” and I take one washing the dishes at the local hotel. You convince me that I’m gaining self respect for providing for my family whilst not fully understanding the internal struggle that I’m going through. I feel angry. I feel angry that I’ve been fooled into thinking that what I’m doing matters. At all.

That’s just to say if I was lucky enough to break through the other Managers, CEOs and Youths that applied for the job.

You see, what I’m doing now IS making a difference on some level. I’m still receiving thank you’s and I’m still seeing other people grow and aspire to new levels. It’s nice to watch the once stuck with life person finally realise their potential. And that’s not all. Just you wait; 10 months down the line I’ll be looking at a different pay cheque. The slow blogger wins the race. The one that bides their time and is in it for the long game.

It’s definitely not limited to my experiences though. I see women settle down and have children before they were fully ready. Women that wanted careers and to travel the world before they even thought about family. Buuut, society right? Same with men. I’ve had people say to me in the past, “You need to settle down Raymond, you need a good woman” at 22? I don’t think so! Not a good thing to introduce a child into the life of a party animal and alcoholic. I actually quit writing at the age of 18 because my Dad ridiculed me. Told me my work was basically sh*t and that no-one makes it as a writer.

We do it constantly, we judge, we criticise and we chastise; yet we do it by our own limited skill sets and experiences. Just because you have a certain job and really enjoy it that really doesn’t mean everyone will enjoy their jobs! And the similarity is the same with Kids, and Men. It’s time we opened our eyes people; time we actually started to look inwardly instead of pressurising other people into our own patterns and mistakes

Hey, I’m not judging. My Dad, for example. He was a highly respected Instrument Engineer in the nuclear industry. He wanted this for me; yet he couldn’t understand why I would want a different path. It worked for him, obviously it would work for me, right?

What we forget is that when we judge and criticise negatively we do so on the back of what we have learned and what we know. Maybe it’s time to start looking at our own lives? How to improve our own self to the point of self-actualization. Then we finally become an individual. We realise that society in general is just one big personality play, and you learn to work with it, but not inside it.


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Raymond is a Mental Health activist and cryptocurrency enthusiast. He fuels his activism by taking to the web and trying to create core change in the way people interact. As an ex-Community​ Manager, Raymond has a unique approach to communication and relationships and believes the way forward in life is improving the interactions between one another. Raymond started his blogging activities as a way to heal from a chequered past, and through this, his blog has become something far more empowering than he ever imagined. And thus, The Relationship Blogger Magazine was born.


  1. Unfortunately this is the case for so many writers. That’s why I now work in marketing, as it’s the one thing that pays for the trade! You’ll make a name eventually, but don’t compromise your dream over the opinion of others.

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