Many moons ago I was once one of these guys that roamed the workplace haplessly falling for the girl that gave me the slightest bit of attention; sadly this would often end in tears and a majorly uncomfortable work relationship afterwards. I’m not sure if any of you have been in this position before but I once ended up dating my supervisor, which, the more I have grown the more I realise how absurdly wrong this was, but that’s a different story altogether. The point of the matter was that when we ended our relationship on a horrific note my work life was made seriously uncomfortable after this. However, I stuck it out - and because I’m not a quitter, any more.
You’re Ok though, right? Because you’re dating a colleague and none of this will ever effect you; well, read on and see what I have to say.
- At work you tend to leave yourself very open and transparent to your tasks and activities; when dating a colleague you will find that professional courtesy will fly out of the window and any normal disagreement which normally would be handled with kid gloves can progress into a full blown argument. After all, they’re your partner, you know almost everything about them. This is why they say teaching is so much harder with family.
- At work I really like to keep my private life separate because no-one should know too much about you. In my opinion when work colleagues know too much about you then unfounded opinions form and their working style with you differs based on those judgements. When you’re dating a colleague be prepared to have your entire love-life stripped apart and analysed by everyone. Even if you both don’t talk about it, colleagues will still have ideas of why you’re in a bad mood or happy mood or just being you. People love to gossip unfortunately and although some of us don’t care it’s just not that conducive to a working environment when people think they know about you.
- This is one of the major ones. When you have an argument you’ll more than likely take it into the workplace as well, which will more than likely rip your department in two. People that agree with you and people that agree with your partner. I’ve always found this is one of the most backwards and unproductive situation in the workplace to be in. You have been warned.
- Following the trend of arguments; say your relationship ended, or even worse it ended on a bad note? You would be made absolutely miserable for the rest of your working life and especially if you have to work closely with said person, as in it’s detrimental to involve the other party so that your work is completed. As I said, your entire working life after this will be made a misery from the moment you split up.
- Also, if you’re a manager and you’re dating a person under your management bracket then good luck with that! As a manager myself I have often found that certain employees need strong boundaries until they find their ropes. Also, it can be common for the odd unnatural moment of craziness from one person or another. We’re all humans and we cant behave 100% of the time. If I was dating an employee I would find it hard to set the boundaries with my partner without it spilling into our personal life.
- I can’t honestly find any good reasons why I would want to date a colleague at work apart from the steamy sessions in the photocopier room or playtime when everyone has knocked off for the day. In my opinion work is a place for focus, maturity, determination, self-improvement and professionalism. You can’t honestly uphold those values when you are romantically engaged with another party from there.
However, it takes all sorts and I am not one to judge. By all means go and do what you wish - just don’t say I didn’t warn you! 🙂
