A loving testament to my wife - you healed me.
I remember the day we first met, the smile that she gave me. It was the most beautiful smile I had been given in a long, long time. In that single moment I felt the warmth of a thousand suns shone upon my battered and bruised ego. For a moment it felt as if all my emotional wounds had been healed instantly. My wife had suffered a back injury five years previously, she fell off her horse at activities week at School and fractured one of her vertebrae in her back. It didn’t mean that she couldn’t walk, only that she would be in constant pain for the rest of her life. Anyway, she had joined us to get back into a working routine so that she would find the transition easier for going into work when she eventually found gainful employment. I met her on the day she was being shown around. And as I said the first thing I noticed about her was her smile and her eternal warmth. She has a knack with people like me, battered and forgotten people seem drawn to her, she has a melancholic aura that just sucks us in. She comforts, she nurtures, she’s awesome that’s what she is.
The day she left to start her job she asked if I wanted to go and watch the speedboat racing with her, and attempt on her behalf to get the ball rolling. Natalie isn’t like any other woman I had met before. She is super confident and has no problems with making the first move but knew in her heart, because she was a special breed of awesomeness that I would have to work for her affection. I would have to make the first move. I would have to work hard.
I was a timid guy back then, in my eyes she had to make all the moves because I was just too shy for all that rejection stuff. But as it worked out I ended up stepping out of my comfort zone every single time. Even now, it’s me that does most of the leading, and that’s a good thing but I’ll get to that later. I remember our first kiss, we were sat out on the open Norfolk broads watching the sun set off on the horizon and as the stars began to light up the sky we kissed, we cuddled, and we had both sealed our intentions to be with each other. It was a magical night. I remember it like a story out of a fairy tale.
Our first holiday was to Cambridge, and I remember running out of money that weekend, feeling like an absolute useless pleb, and her smiling, telling me it was Ok. And that I shouldn’t worry about it because she had more than enough to get us by. That was the first weekend we talked about kids too, how that we were both interested in starting a family and settling down and that ‘seeing where this went’ is totally on both of our minds. It was also the time I discovered mind-shattering great sex. Sex for me was always a necessity and never an enjoyment, perhaps at the end when I came. With you, you had taught me to truly stop and sniff the roses, that sex and love was a togetherness shared like no other, and the completeness of such mastery of emotion, wrapped up between us led to sex that I had never experienced before. Amazing.
Her core belief in me led me to become strong and wise and independent, and she also educated me every step of the way. She taught me to listen and to respect. One of the greatest things I learned from her ever was that she taught me to own my actions, to stand up for my failures. I’m not perfect and I never will be, she taught me that and I’m eternally grateful for that. She saw me not as a man to use, but a man to invest her time in, to empower, to heal, to inspire and that natural growth would turn into a lifetime of love. And through that raw investment I grew to levels I hadn’t thought possible. A confidence inside me that I never knew I had, a loving side that I truly never thought possible and an animal that I didn’t know existed.
So I dedicate this article to you, Natalie, my wife, my lover, my hero, and my saviour. You are the reason I’m here today!
I love you.
A loving testament to my wife
