Living in a serious relationship with a long term partner is an awesome experience. Sharing your life with someone you love, your dreams, your hopes, your fears, your traits and your aspirations; there is no better experience. Although it can be frustratingly difficult at times; like when she squeezes the middle of the toothpaste tube to get the toothpaste out when you absolutely know it should always be squeezed from the top! And when he leaves his washing in a heap on the floor expecting you to always clean it up.

Yeah, we all have these quirks about us that navigate our relationships in a diverse manner; some see this as beauty and others see it as a hindrance. Whatever the case it makes for an interesting ride. So why do I say that you should never stop making an effort in your relationship? I mean you’re happy as you are, things couldn’t go better and you can’t imagine your partner ever diverting their eyes.

You see, when we become serious in our relationships that’s when our true personalities begin to come out, we stop putting on the nicey nicey face and start to become more relaxed around one another, get irritated faster and don’t let things slide like we used to. Some even stop having sex as much. I’m not saying all of this is a bad thing at all, one of the most important things in a relationship is being yourself and being honest to yourself. However when we get more relaxed we tend to slip back into our old habits and routines and forget that our partners have loving needs too. You might be turning your nose up at what I’m saying but watch her face light up when you surprisingly bring her a box of chocolates back for no reason, only that she is herself, the one that you love. Or similarly hand make him a card for just being an awesome partner. We are all sentimental at heart.

hand made card

In my relationship with my wife I’m often doing “that little bit extra”, bringing her back a bunch of flowers for just being herself, letting her sleep in because she’s fucked (being a Mum will do that to you) and telling her how much I love her often! You see? By doing this I’m communicating to her my continual investment in our relationship. It’s simple really, just going that extra mile because you love someone. It’s the exact same with men. Men need to feel loved too regardless of what they say. You see that big guy that’s as tall as the Eiffel Tower and wider than the number 22 public bus screaming at those two other guys? Yeah, he just wants a hug.

It’s probably going to be rather controversial to say this but don’t do the same extras too much because they’ll become habit. When you raise the bar too often on something then it becomes the new normal. It’s fine if you start as you mean to go ahead but if you’re planning it as a once off then it might be a good idea to keep it as a once off or your partner will come to expect it. Learn to be spontaneous, do different things for them on random days then it will keep the spice alive.

Sadly, far too many relationships fall on stagnation because one or both parties have become too comfortable. Just keep in mind that a relationship, like your life, is a constantly evolving existence, and there’s no such thing as “happily ever after” without some hard work behind it.

work hard and relationships

Stay true to yourself my friends 🙂

 

why you should never stop making an effort
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I'm a man that's been through the pitfalls and elations of relationships in my ever growing quest to better my knowledge in the human condition. I've been in the game and around the Internet since 1996 and surprisingly I'm still using it today. I've definitely found myself in some weird and wonderful places and I hope to share all of this with you lucky people.

2 COMMENTS

  1. Hey raymond, thanks for your post! really enjoyed your article! I have actually just moved in with my partner and am noticing some of these things happening like becoming comfortable with each other and getting more annoyed at little things, its a big change because we don’t have make plans to see each other instead hes just there, I know we will both have to make extra effort with each other, maybe I will hand make him a card this week 🙂

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