User Posts: Raymond

Please raise your glasses and give a warm welcome to the infamous Kara Post-Kennedy as the new managing editor at our ever-expanding Magazine. Kara will be in ...

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My Wife Cheated On Me What Do I Do Next? Okay, well, first of all I'll be frank. I've been cheated on several times in the past; once in a long term ...

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How to attract women: 7 myths about attracting women you thought were true I remember being a bit of an oddball as a teenager. I didn't really understand how ...

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Back in my day, the minute someone approached the subject of substance abuse treatment, or counselling of any kind we would sort-of brush them off as a kook, a ...

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My Son and his Pink Pram My Son was about three when he picked up Freya's pink pram and wanted it for himself. I remember that my initial thought was to take ...

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This month marks 10 months that we have been actively writing as a magazine. First of all I'd love to say how proud I am of all of my writers. In the last 10 ...

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Men are from Mars, you definitely have that right. It's my belief that men and women generally want the same things in life; love, sex, security, respect and ...

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I live with a family of undiagnosed Autistic people. If you were to ask me, "is Autism hereditary?" Then through my experiences I would give you a definite yes ...

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Happy New Year!

Happy New Year to one and all that reads The Relationship Blogger. May I take this moment to wish you the very best for this coming year, and may you achieve ...

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Browsing All Comments By: Raymond
  1. Thanks Shivaram. I will keep that in mind! What did you think about the article? 🙂

  2. Thank you Dimma! Lovely comment. I still don’t agree. Everything can be improved and there’s no such thing as perfection. I assume you get angry at times and fly off the handle (just like I do) is this perfection? 🙂 I still think it’s our imperfections that make us brilliant 🙂

  3. No problem Shawna! I’m enjoying writing like this. And it is you that shown me the path – so I’m glad of meeting you also! 🙂

  4. Thank you, Shareen! Likewise! I really appreciate that you’ve taken to commenting on my blog. I really love that 🙂

  5. Wow. I knew it was bad in Schools but I actually didn’t know it was THAT bad. But you’re right. A label is essentially a way of ditching any sort of responsibility one has for a child, or an adult for that matter. I have a very centric approach to the way that I work with people – I tailor everything to the way they perceive and process life, rather than trying to get them to fit in with what I see is “correct”

    Absolutely criminal – why they are still operating is beyond me. And you’re right. Totally right. Glad you made a stand for yourself.

  6. Exactly right, and why this case is so significant – because it has attracted so much media attention his life now, is pretty much fucked. And that is so outwith his control he won’t know what to do with himself

  7. You’re exactly right. (And thanks for finding me here through Steemit!)

    I do not subscribe to any notion of democracy and independence that is defined by the western world as it is now. We are essentially slaves to the ruling elite. They have defined it as democracy but in essence it is an Oligarchy. what was once a thing to be feared from the Communist states in the 80’s is fast becoming a reality here. Totalitarianism, where the many have little and the few have everything.

    By my definition of a SJW is just that. I stand for any injustice whatever it may be, Political, ethnical, sexual, whatever. If there’s a group being manipulated and blamed, you’ll bet that I’ll stand out and speak about it.

    Oh, also, FYI – I am from the UK so I’m not familiar with the constitution, apologies for that!

  8. Okay. That’s pretty much my second scenario. That’s something neither of them are talking to each other about. A strong person would NEVER be in a situation they didn’t want to be in. Why would a strong person even feel the need to go behind their partners back when they could just say, “get lost” and change the locks, done.

    I’d actually say the person trapped is a bit needy and scared of conflict if their only solution to a trapped relationship is through cheating. Wouldn’t you? 🙂

    My thoughts, anyway.

  9. Searing post here, Tricia. I loved reading every moment of this 🙂

  10. I really enjoyed reading this – thanks for that!

  11. What an amazing article Stacia. I’m lucky to have this kind of work shared. I’m proud of what this magazine is becoming.

    If it helps in any way whatsoever. There was a man that lived with us for 4 years and he was like a father to me. He died of cancer when I was 13. I grieve for him more now, than I do for my own biological father that only died 4 or 5 years ago.

    As you say, blood does not maketh a family – what you put into it does!

  12. Wow. This story was amazing 🙂

  13. I agree!

    It’s hard, though. I feel confident mostly — but if you placed me in front of a person that knew me twenty years ago, and wasn’t good to me, my legs would turn to jelly!

    Looking forward to more pieces from Scarlet!

  14. This was such a heart warming post 🙂

  15. I really enjoyed reading this 🙂

  16. No problems, Lisa! As I say, I’m learning. Every day 🙂

  17. Validation? Hahaha. Sorry m’dear – you take me for someone that cares what other people think. I chose to continue this conversation with you because I’m intrigued. You have no power over me.

    Just to continue the conversation on reflection. At what point were you going to recognise your own participation in fate? Reading through the previous comments I see everything about what other people are doing to you, and how men are rubbish yadda yadda.

    At what point were you going to recognise your own choices in life?

    I mean for instance polling men on how they’d treat prostitutes is a very forward thinking thing to do.. but they’re still men that regularly sleep with prostitutes. And to be honest (and I care not what you think on this), men that regularly sleep with prostitutes aren’t the greatest men to hold a moral compass against.

  18. Do you ever reflect on your actions? I ask because you seem to be very intent on provoking me into being what you assume all men to be. I’m not going to tell you how to think, be or act, but if you start off any conversation that’s making a stab at anyone then you aren’t going to be readily welcomed with open arms.

    I guess this isn’t your fault though, and perhaps my attitude doesn’t help things – so I apologise for that. I should really know better. My wife IS a saint; she puts up with a lot.

  19. So, wait? 80% of men would rather let the prostitute sleep it off.. but “all men” are scum? You need to make up your mind my friend 🙂

    It would only be virtue signalling if I didn’t give a shit, which I do care about my authors. The only thing I really couldn’t care less about was your opinion, which is highly reactive at the very least!

    Thankfully I’m not living with you, because anyone that makes such harsh judgements on someone they’ve only read 700 words from — I’d rather not be in the same country as, never mind town 🙂

  20. Not me. Why would I want to pretend to be someone else? I’m pro this type of discussion. I have an ex adult industry worker writing for me.

    I will say though that you might want to widen your perspective on men in general from the people that frequent you. I wouldn’t know where to go or call to find an escort. I don’t think any of my friends would too. And in no means am I judging you — I’m only saying that there are definitely men out there that you haven’t experienced before; in the same fashion as I haven’t met every kind of woman.

  21. I LOVE that you said this. I totally hear you there – for a man to grow in a relationship it’s not a one sided thing; he needs a partner to listen to him too. Of course this works in reverse too 🙂

  22. I agree. I always listen to her when she tells me these things. I mean, I do try to be better. Thanks for your positive comment. This is my main goal in essence, to get people to think about their behaviours and try and be better as I grow too 🙂

    I love that you said it’s helped you deal with men differently knowing this. I like that. I always say, well, we can sit and complain, or we can do something about it 🙂

  23. First of all I’d just like to say I’m so sorry for your loss. I can’t imagine what you or your man must be going through right now, and if this was a room I’d give you both a HUGE warm hug.

    Yup. I agree with you totally. As much as I suffered I just had to be there for my wife. I couldn’t imagine in a million years the torment that she was going through (or you for that matter) — she described it as something akin to losing a part of herself. It is interesting though how friends and family handled the situation with me, though. I felt a bit like a loose end. No-one wanted to talk to me.

    But alas, this is why I write 🙂 – break trends.

  24. I think you’ll find that it is us that are proud to be associated with you my friend 🙂

  25. I’m sorry you feel that way, Kitten.

  26. Mike, I’ll say exactly the same to you as I did Wesley. I hope you don’t mind me copying and pasting! Also, I’m no professional – I’d recommend counselling highly. There’s no shame in it – all counselling does is offer you a different perspective on your life.

    “The trick is to get some focus. Pick up a hobby. Instead of watching porn all night, I now write, make videos, take pictures, engage with other people. Create a website! I’m not saying this is what you must do – but for me I swapped the addictions that were destroying my life for something positive and creative. Then you can look back and have a sense of achievement too!”

  27. Sorry Wesley! It’s been a busy week here. I’m just getting back to you now. Honestly? Addictions never leave us. If we quit one, we swap it for something else. This was a running joke in our office that most of us were addicts. Hah.

    The trick is to get some focus. Pick up a hobby. Instead of watching porn all night, I now write, make videos, take pictures, engage with other people. Create a website! I’m not saying this is what you must do – but for me I swapped the addictions that were destroying my life for something positive and creative. Then you can look back and have a sense of achievement too!

    Counselling helps also. I’ve had quite a bit of sessions – they helped me immensely.

  28. Speaking to men too! 🙂 – thanks for your comment!

  29. What I find more interesting is that even although you drew from this article that I had been ragged upon, you decided to rag on me some more anyway. I think you’ll find you’re mixing confidence with arrogance 🙂

    You should really read the last paragraph; digest it fully, and then come back to me! Because I know you didn’t read the whole article if you believe what you’ve written.

  30. Thanks! I only touched on the women aspect. You’re right though, there are many things that my wife can do, and is trying to do better herself! It’s all about growth 🙂

  31. Don’t forget being raised as an only child with two split parents that ‘made it rain’ gifts on him – I grew up really selfishly. Good comment. Thanks 🙂

  32. What were you looking for? I touched on a few things there 🙂

  33. You’re right – we’re abviously homosexual if we don’t want sex on tap, right?

  34. I feel that is exactly right! I’ve had a lot of pushback from women too. Women have told me that it’s not right that they should be the ones to burden themselves to educate their partner. In my eyes, though, if a man has never saw his porn watching behaviour a problem, and there’s no-one to tell him otherwise, how will he know it’s not healthy? It’s definitely not personal either!

    Co-incidentally I’ve been reading a few women coming forward saying they were porn addicts. This is new territory for me. I always thought that was a myth! An illusion some women made up to seem more attractive to men. Apparently it was my thoughts that were the myth! lol

  35. Hi mate.

    In a post that’s all about self-reflection – i.e. ‘women are probably mean to you because you’re a prick’ sort of reflection, I think the comment was highly relevant. I try not be mean to others, and generally people aren’t mean to me. You get what they give out in life as they say. Be mean to others? Expect it back! 🙂

    I also wasn’t trying to outsmart anyone! If you can’t understand what I’m saying that’s not my problem. Why would you think it was? Go and read life for dummies childrens version and then perhaps come back when you’re ready? lol

  36. I don’t really think I fit in with any sort of Political stereotype really. Nevertheless, thanks for your comment. Any feedback is acceptable to me!

    Tell me, when you wrote this comment, how do you feel that you appear to me as a person? And is this the projection of yourself you want in society?

  37. Thanks April, and yes! I had a good hard think on all of what I’m trying to better myself with and how it affects my partner and the people I talk to – I appreciate your thanks 🙂

  38. Thanks for your warmed response there, Vicki. You’re right – men deal with it in particularly different ways, like you say, walk off for a few days. Sometimes I wish we were far more in tune with our emotions than we are, but, you know, it’ll get there.

    I’m sorry to hear of your loss – My wife, Natalie explains to me exactly the same as you do. It’s a distant memory for me, but to her, it’s a part of her that should be there.

  39. Hi Natalie! I appreciate your comment.

    Have you tried forcing him to communicate? Next time you talk to him you could ask him how he’s coping with the miscarriage? How does he feel? Ask him if there’s anything that he would like you to do. I always ask my wife that when I’m at a loss with what she wants or needs.

    Failing that you could always seek therapy or couples therapy? I’m no professional and I think if he won’t open up then therapy is the next option 🙂

    I’m really sorry for your loss. I can’t imagine what you’re going through right now, and just when you need your partner the most he isn’t there for you. Grief is a really tough one because people deal with grief in different ways. Just remember that time is a great healer also!

  40. Hi Eman,

    Thank you for your comment!

    I speak with a heterosexual voice because that’s what I am. I’m not too sure what you were getting at there, but I didn’t mention that men compare each other on body improvements.

    I welcome other voices from different sexual orientations though! I just can’t speak myself from that perspective.

  41. Thanks Stacia. That article the other day reminded me what I was originally fighting for!

  42. You’re so right. If I didn’t I’d expect I’d be another loser ex of hers

  43. We do, it’s annoying, and it’s mainly in the face of other mens insecurities. If men actually sat and read, tested, and finally realised that if you treat sex like an enjoyable experience, rather than all about the orgasm – I’ve literally had 3 orgasms one after the other before. Train your willy well, chuck porn and objectivism and treat the one you love like a godess in the bedroom 🙂

  44. I’m usually laughed out of the room or shirked off by my male peers when I talk about it. I’ve taken to giving answers when asked now. I’m very tired of being ridiculed for what I believe is very unhealthy.

  45. Awareness really. That’s all we can do, it’s what I’m trying to do. Create awareness! Educate, inspire 🙂

  46. Nice to hear a man say that. Yup, I dated a woman once, before my wife, that wanted sex constantly, and with work, and the added stress of the responsibility at work I had to refuse her too. Not that I didn’t want to of course!!

  47. I’m so sorry for your loss. Words cannot express properly how you must be feeling right now. I’m sorry.

    You sound like you exist in a very supportive relationship. Hang onto that! Share your grief together and it seems as if you’re doing that already. My wife supported me as much as I did her. It made the hurt so much easier to bare.

  48. Yeah. I guess I’m still learning really. I’m no perfect man, that’s for sure. I’m no looker anymore either, hah!

  49. Same! I make my son feel safe. It’s all kids want essentially 🙂

  50. That’s very, very true Beth. Thank you!

  51. Thanks! – I was a child with unhappy parents. I can relate too!

  52. You are the same 🙂

  53. I think that’s a great place to be. Who says you need to be in a relationship and happy to get the most out of your life? Society does, but you’re not society. I’ve found that it starts going pear shaped for people when they try to fit in, when in actual fact most people don’t fit in. We’re all wonderfully unique.

    Just remember, there are men out there like me that are trying to listen to what their partners have to say. Yup, I’ll admit that I’m selfish, but I do try! Honestly, I do – and I’m sure there are other men out there trying just as hard as me 🙂

  54. I think a good read for you would be ‘why men need to adapt to modern society’ on the blog. I think no matter what the culture is, humans want the same 🙂

  55. I’m sure the honour is just as much theirs as much as it is yours, and mine! 😀

  56. You could be onto something there. I had never thought of it like that before. I’m far more into a relationship being wholesome. My wife has to stimulate me mentally as well as sexually and vice versa

  57. Glad you appreciated it. I feel there’s a real unhealthy bias to men and sex. If we don’t want to have sex then we’re limp, gay or castrated. It’s not fair lol

  58. Ohhh. I missed this! Thank you. Hah. No, I’m a big hairy dude.

  59. Thanks Drew! So true 🙂

  60. You were terrified. He should have picked up on that! Men, sometimes we have no clue!

  61. Yeah. I bet he learned too. Following women all day is a no no. That’s something I learned at a very young age was a no no. And super duper creepy!

  62. Haha. Thanks for that. I grew up without a Dad. I had to learn life my own way

  63. You’re not the only one. My wife does too. As does my Mum. I tore the ligaments in my leg once and my Mum was going to send me into school. It was her friend that stopped her. And I did myself a really serious back injury once, and it wasn’t until I seen an Oesteopath that my wife believed me that I was IN actual pain lol. Like you she’s more forgiving 🙂

  64. Why thank you – I shall get to that soon 🙂

  65. That’s true – if you can’t sit down and talk with your partner about life, love, fears and hopes then there’s going to be a very empty relationship 🙂

  66. Ah, I’m really pleased to hear that Charli. What a lovely thing to say. You’ll be pleased to know that in my last job I created small communities in hard to reach places and tapped out when they were bustling. I’m good at it 🙂 – but this one I’ll be keeping forever, and growing!

    Isolation is one of the worst Mental Health barriers and I want to become a bridge for people!

  67. I’d love to re-write this. Mainly because I’ve grown a lot since I became a writer and I have a lot more to say about the issue. What you say is true though, this is really simplistic and boils it down quite nicely. Ha!

  68. I actually shed a tear reading this. I’m really sorry you’ve had to deal with this. I wouldn’t wish it on my worst enemy. We were super excited too, and then boom! Life has a funny way of throwing you curveballs. As for your man – keep communication lines open! Don’t let him clam up! It’s what we tend to do when we’re hurt. I loved reading the warmth you expressed for your partner – you two are lucky to have one another.

  69. His site looks nice – I’ll have to give it a more in depth read. Thanks 🙂

  70. No problem 🙂 – Glad you liked it!

  71. Good to have a man like that Joanne – I think we’re getting there. But we’ve still a long way to go 🙂

  72. Hahaha – that made me laugh 🙂

  73. Yup. I agree with this. But for me I didn’t really start listening until I learned to listen. But since then I keep learning.

  74. Haha – knowing you I take this to be satire 😛

  75. Your life could have been mine – swap that for several stepdads and you have my life. Catholic school and weird principles et al 🙂

  76. Yup – this is also true. Whilst not built up of hardened steel like we were, they’ve had to deal with easier childhoods and as a result a kick to the face when real life comes along. I don’t know if it’s true for a large number, but as a young man who had the world kick him in the teeth as I rented my first house, I agree. So for me, it’s definitely relevant.

  77. I didn’t want to say that but you’ve hit the nail on the head there. If you look at our voters statistically a large portion of the under 25’s vote for progress, whereas the baby boom eras are all clenching their fists, waving their hands in ager at the daily mails new article about immigrants and youth. That being said I tend to sympathise with them a bit – although they vote for destruction, they are the most susceptible to propoganda – not having access to information and critical thinking like we have.

    They watch BBC news and it’s truth to them. We watch any news outlet and wonder what their behind message is. And I’m finding out uneducated people are picking up on this now too.

  78. Haha. I expect there are lots of instances like that! It’s good that you can laugh about it 🙂

  79. It was you that gave me the idea to ask my wife and for this post. I agree with your points. I’ve also read that somewhere about communication and women. I do think if you have a high emotional intelligence like I have, I think it’s easier to communicate – but I’m a damn anomaly lol. I’m sure of it.

  80. Yup. That is spot on. When you realise, or better yet, admit that there is a problem, then that’s at least 80% of the battle – because then you can start working on it 🙂

  81. That’s interesting. Really interesting. Although I’m not the author if this – in the blogosphere, my readers are mostly female. The friends I’ve made are mostly female and those that I look to for advice with my blog are female. Do I blur those boundaries? Absolutely not. I think having a happy, trusting and safe Marriage helps. I feel very comfortable around women and know my boundaries very well – and apart from one or two, most of my friends are female. Funnily that happened. My counsellor said that to me when I was getting my life sorted. She said, Raymond. You’ll find when you’re happy, most of your friends will be female. She was right lol

  82. Interesting point – I’m trying my hardest not to make blanket statements anymore – this just proves why 🙂

  83. It’s SO true – if my Dad took the class he would shut off – and my Mum would think the teacher was a Moron lol

  84. That’s so true – I’m trying to create change in what I write. I’m hoping that by reading me, that other men will be challenged to reflect 🙂

  85. I agree! Sorry. I thought everyone would start reading this article under the assumption that men cheating was wrong 🙂

  86. Oh wow – lovely comment thanks Rica! 🙂

  87. Aw, thanks – that’s a really nice thing to say! And you’re SO right about sleep. When we first had Alex – it was so mentally strange to be responsible for EVERYTHING this new addition to our family does. I remember the first night of having him home, all he did was slept, but it was so strange having him there, making little squeaky noises, the wife and I petrified

  88. I agree – it’s why the men and pregnancy section exists on my blog – thanks for commenting 🙂

  89. I like that answer – I really do. And I agree. I need that feeling of conquest too – which is why I constantly try and push my writing boundaries!

  90. It was a hard task, y’know – I can’t say it came easily. It took me a couple of years to learn that people say things for a reason and not to take it to heart 🙂

  91. Thank you Janice. I really appreciate your sentiments!

    Funny you should comment – I was just in the process of linking you to my first blog on warrior forum – I think you’d fit well on there. I don’t know if you know but I read you regularly. Your info is incredibly insightful 🙂

  92. Awesome – thank you 🙂

  93. Great that you recognise that – I swear half the battle is knowing which areas of life that you need to tend to haha. I’m ofting reflecting and getting it wrong! Alas, we’re all human 🙂

  94. That’s a very interesting way to look at it! – I’d never thought of it that way – I’ll go away and think about that some more! I do agree that a shared problem is halved. My wife is part of a few Autism groups and I must admit, it makes knowing that she’s not alone far easier! 🙂

  95. Wow! 5. That must be hectic lol – I’ve been Married 9 years and I concur 🙂

  96. Aw, that’s lovely – and yes. Lots of disguises in this world. I think having a good partner behind you is a good key to hapiness too!

  97. I’ve never been a competitive man. But you’re right, though – I had a lot of friends that would race each other on numbers. I was just happy to be in love lol

  98. Thank you 🙂 – I tried hard!

  99. Thanks for the comment – You don’t think sexuality is a central part of life?

  100. They’ll get there – I’m sure you’ll be an excellent teacher 🙂

  101. That’s awesome that you do that – men grow up thinking emotions are bad, and that we should distance ourselves from them. – which nothing can be further from the truth.

    I love it when I see supportive statements from women, thank you 🙂

  102. No problem 🙂 – Glad you liked it!

  103. Okay, let me give it a shot 🙂

  104. Thank you! 🙂 Yep, very important!

    If you pop me an email at raymond@therelationshipblogger.com I’ll give you my address 🙂

  105. I will do – thanks for the link 🙂

  106. No problem 🙂 – I’m glad to help!!

  107. Thank you – I appreciate you saying so 🙂

  108. I liked this – It’s nice to meet another person that feels equal. Like me, I feel equal in every way, but that’s only because my direct environment is so.

    I think a lot of it, like you say, is directly related to mindset, and also circumstances outwith your control. As let’s not forget, there are still many oppressed women out there 🙂

  109. People don’t like to be told the truth – keep at it. One day you’ll be able to sit there in all your smugness 🙂

  110. Hi Mat! I love your take on things!

    I’m running out of topics to discuss. Over 300 posts on my blog – I’ve taken to answering the questions people are asking, and if you check google you’ll see that people are asking this question quite a lot. So my aim was to answer the question and pull it back to a central answer, if you get what I mean? 🙂

  111. That is so heartwarmingly true, Gilly. I had a male friend that broke down in tears with me, whilst I hugged him and told him it was going to be ok. He was shocked, and taken aback, because he never does that, cry, in front of others.

    It’s that thing again isn’t it? Active listening. Safe place. No matter how many people harp on about safe places, and snowflakes (currently the new buzzwords out there), everyone needs a safe place to be themselves and not be judged. Everyone.

    I really get a kick out of healthy, warm women giving heartfelt perspectives on men and our plight in my comments section – please do more 🙂

    I was the same at school. Throwing chairs and stomping my feet because I couldn’t be, well, me. My Son is at the age right now where they’re trying to keep him from crying at school. I know this is outwith my control, but I’m trying to give him the option that it’s ok to cry and be himself at home and he’ll always get Daddy hugs. I feel this will be a great post for next week in my column on the Good Men Project 🙂

  112. Definitely forgiven. We’re all human after all. My Mum holidays twice a year. Last week she was in the Dominican Republic – you think I could remember that when I called her? Hah. No 🙂

  113. Same. I remember a time that existed ‘pre-selfie’ – a time when people actually cared what one another was doing, and didn’t exist in a narcissistic bubble of selfishness! I agree with everything that you said. And well said 🙂

    My name is Raymond, btw – not Austin 🙂

  114. Absolutely right – which is why I think Facebook is ruining us

  115. Ah, see,

    Then perhaps we swing in different circles. My wife, for example, is completely in tune with what, how, and why she feels – like most of the other women I know.

    I think you’re also misreading what I said. Being ‘in tune’ with emotions is completely different to ‘experiencing’ emotions. I could be angry at the stupid woman screaming at her kids unecessarily, so I’m experiencing anger. But what I may not realise is that this stems from a place where I was treated unfairly by my parents in my childhood. Experiencing / in tune, two completely different things.

    Your last statement, before the question – don’t you think one should reflect on how he makes another person feel? I write about equality, understanding the other persons needs. It’s like Politics, one should attempt to understand the other side of the equation before looking for a solution. My opinion, anyway.

    I have never ever felt oppressed by any woman. Can’t say I have – I ask you a question. Why do you feel oppressed? 🙂

  116. Not at all – glad you found me! Keep reading, subscribe to my newsletter. I’ve just started up a podcast and much more to come 🙂

    Oh, and my favourite coffee is anything Arabic. I love arabic. I’m such a snob when it comes to coffee haha 🙂

  117. Glad I could help 🙂 Remember and subscribe to my newsletter – lots more to come 🙂

  118. Oh she is – about 99% of my knowledge of women has been through observing and talking over things with her 😉

  119. Nothing wrong with you at all. You are pretty and intelligent and have a lot going for you. It’s just well, us guys have preferences too, like women! 🙂 – The guys you see on TV that shag anything with a pulse are out there too – but there are plenty of us good guys too 🙂

  120. Not a problem. If I’ve helped you, then my mission is being successful 🙂 Thank you! 🙂

  121. Lovely comment. Thank you. Yes, it wasn’t until I was about thirty that I realised if I still had life with Dad it would have been eternally worse. So I stopped blaming the world. It was such a refreshing experience. Mum did what was best for us at the time, and, it worked. The alternative looks much worse!

  122. Oh, thank you 🙂 – yes, I feel they are! They help a lot

  123. Good good! Looking forward to your input 🙂

  124. Oh I am too – SO much 🙂

  125. Aww. Thank you Shawna! I’m growing 🙂 – I feel it!

  126. Great take on it there. Yes, I can relate. As a young boy we were always moving. From pillar to post. I must have made at least three sets of friends before having to up and leave for the next. Unfortunately I lost contact with all of them – even the wonders of Facebook have yet to show me them again.

    But I definitely like your take on it. Facebook has a great way of connecting people, and for those of us that are busy in our own little worlds then it’s a great way of keeping in touch 🙂

  127. I wouldn’t worry about it too much. If there’s one thing I’ve learned in life is that what works for me doesn’t necessarily work the same for my Son. For instance my Son doesn’t eat well, and I can’t understand that because I eat plenty, but just because I do, it doesn’t need to work that way for him. His sense of taste is off the charts. So what might taste good for me, might taste (and smell) like shit to him. On the topic of friends, my closest friend just lives a twenty minute drive from me, and he knew me from when he was 22, but he never hits up his old school mates. It’s just the way things are, but eventually people find their ground in the end. I’m sure she’ll be fine 🙂

  128. Thank you! Much love to you too 🙂

  129. Very true – it’s nice that we remember the ‘good old’ days and such, yet it’s becoming integral, and we need to adopt, rather than resist. Nice link, by the way 🙂

  130. Yup, great comment. I agree. Something much deeper. Perhaps that’s what I’ll write next time. Deeper connections 🙂

  131. I agree wholeheartedly. Love is how you define it – as long as it has respect and trust in there 🙂

  132. Haha. I’ve had the exact opposite experience! Life is interesting! 😀

  133. Actually, us men, we never ever share our relationship woes, we’ll take it off to our man caves and digest it ourselves. That’s really interesting what you say about women, though, I always thought they were more intuitive than that!

    Interesting – I learn something new every day 😀

  134. This is exactly true! We aren’t complex at all 🙂 – no need to rush, just relax and wait for the magic to happen with someone!

  135. Very true, Joyce! I’m really sorry I missed this!

  136. Thank you, Stacey!

    I totally agree. I think it stems back from the days of the School locker room where the big boys used to get it out and wave it about, where as less gifted in that area would look on in horror and think this was normal!! lol. Apparently it’s not, and women care even less, unless, like you say, it’s miniscule and doesn’t work 🙂

  137. Why thank you – I’ll definitely be up for that. My family commitments will have me on at strange times, but I’ll definitely be in and out 🙂

  138. Haha! Thank you Shawna 🙂

  139. Thanks for this – my first experience into blogging was running on free WordPress for at least two years. Don’t feel embarrassed, it’s how we learn and grow 🙂

  140. Haha, we live in parallel, Shawna 🙂

  141. So nice to see you on here, Rica! Thanks. And yes, I concur. What makes us different is a strength, not a weakness. I’m a complete weirdo and totally buck social trends, but in my opinion, that’s a good thing! Thanks for sharing your perspective 🙂

  142. I know, right? 🙂

    I’m glad to know her

  143. Thank you! She’s amazing, right? 🙂

  144. No problem! It suited my agenda and it was awesome! 🙂 – I’ll be linking a lot to you now that I have an understanding of your point of view (If that’s ok) 🙂

  145. Exactly right! Although I don’t think men will ever understand what it’s like to experience miscarriage. But we’ll try! And it’s about time we gave up this “stiff upper lip” nonsense and let our emotions run wild. Thanks for your comment – lovely to hear differing perspectives on it!

  146. That’s very true – I love to communicate, though. So I’ve taught myself to speak more. Haha. I still think I’m quieter, though 😉

  147. And me too with you, Shawna 🙂

  148. thanks man 🙂 It is!

  149. Thank you! And yep. You’re so right. And that was me you described, 15 years ago – I loved the attention.

    Never give an eternally nice person an ounce of power. It goes right to their head.

    I remember the first rule book I had to write in my first managerial position I had – my Manager had to come down to me and say, “Uh, Raymond, this is a place of care – not a Military prison ran by Hitler.”

    So I learned and learned. But yup. You’re SO right 🙂

  150. Thank you! I agree – growth is a continual process. It never ends 🙂

  151. Thank you Gilly! It’s really nice to hear you say that. I’ve been married for nearly 9 years now, and it’s where I’ve learned all this from. Studying my wife intensively. Hah 🙂

  152. So true Gilly! I numbed the pain for many years until I got tired of it. There had to be more to life than just what I had, right? The beauty of it is, there’s always more to life – even when you have everything 🙂

  153. Yes! Definitely, we should. All of us 🙂

  154. I do. Being a father helped me realise how much of a hard job parenting is. And I have a significant other. I couldn’t imagine what single parenting must have been like. Kudos to my Mum, and any other single Mum 🙂

  155. Thanks, Gilly! – I tried to summarise it as best as I could. It’s clearly not a black or white issue. And yes, the whole UK are tired and want change. 🙂

  156. Oh it is. It really is – amazing 🙂

  157. Ah! Being Scottish I think I was of “preferred” descent. I think if you visit America being Scottish or Irish you have it made haha.

  158. Ha! You’re not the only one. I celebrated St Patricks Day for many years before I knew there actually was a “St Patrick” ha 🙂

  159. That too! Yet it’s always great to be aware of the reasons behind things 🙂

  160. Hah. You are so right. It’s all great giving this advice and all. But we learn best from our mistakes, don’t we? 🙂

  161. It has! And some people you thought were calm and relaxed people are now mashing their keyboards and frothing at the mouth!!

  162. Thank you – we SO do. 🙂

  163. Thanks very much for commenting Amina!! And yes. When will we ever? We’re vastly growing. When will we finally accept that isolation never works and collaboration is always, always the way forward!

  164. Thank you – I’d love to hear your side of it. I mean at first I thought it was “part of growing up” – it wasn’t until recently that I sussed out that, “I’m not a piece of meat” and I realised that women think exactly the same way 🙂

  165. Definitely. And yes, she farts lots 🙂

  166. Giving is a good thing though! When you give without wanting to receive you find yourself building up a ton of secret allies 🙂

  167. Oh don’t we know it. I have perhaps four. Three that I can pick up the phone to now and they would be there every step of the way for me.

  168. People rarely change, or at least the toxic ones don’t. The positive thinkers always change. Always striving for better. So if you’ve changed that’s a good thing. 🙂

  169. Nope. You’re right. They definitely shouldn’t 🙂 – people are people!

  170. Thank you, Francesca. I do too. But then if we were all nice to each other there would be no difference of opinion. lol 🙂

  171. It’s not as easy as you may think. Because they are cunning and make you think that you need them. When in actual fact it’s entirely the other way around 🙂

  172. I’m the same but a different way. If I don’t get enough sleep I suffer from anxiety. Sounds strange, doesn’t it? 🙂

  173. Too true. Trying to fit in and be like everyone else is far too boring lol 🙂

  174. Yes! 🙂 Awesome! Good for you. I feel these are a necessity 🙂

  175. Wow! I hardly had any sleep when Alex was that age. You have three. I feel your pain bud!!

  176. I’ve heard that too. My wife thinks I have sleep apnea. I’m not too sure 🙂

  177. I know I wrote this, but same. I could do with more sleep. I have a young Son and my nice sleep patterns changed dramatically lol

  178. Good! That is exactly what it was supposed to do. I hope when you wake up tomorrow you say to the world.. I’m awesome!! And I’m here to stay. Like it, or lump it 🙂

  179. I grew an actual spine from that situation. Hah. But she was horrible. I wouldn’t wish it on anyone at all.

  180. Absolutely agree. I’m experiencing the fallout as we speak. It sucks. But the less that I say about that the better, hah.

    Thanks for commenting 🙂

  181. That’s super sweet Shareen. Although, I wouldn’t blame you if you did. I mean, it is a priceless necklace. And we all know a lady loves a priceless necklace 😀

  182. So true. I love that quote too 🙂

  183. Exactly my friend 🙂 – and even that setting isn’t normal for some people. Hah 🙂

  184. That is SO right. And even when you say that you are an introvert – you categorise yourself into a neat little category. Be you. Be awesome – which I’m sure you totally are 🙂

  185. Thank you!!

    Yes. You’re right. Bullying at work happens far more often than we’d care to admit. And I have been told by some Managers to “stop being so sensitive”. In my opinion they shouldn’t have been managers. hah.

  186. Exactly Jennifer – giving them the option to make their own decisions, and that by deciding to be with us will improve our day is more empowering than you may think 🙂

  187. Thank you Taria! Bullying is horrible!! I will no longer stand and be bullied, or, witness anyone else be the victim of bullying.

  188. Exactly the same here. It was my manager at that job which changed my life 🙂

  189. Thank you Bee! I appreciate your words.

    When isn’t a Mother – Child relationship NOT complicated, haha.

  190. Thanks Shawna, I knew you’d agree. You and I think alike. Haha 🙂

  191. Thank you, Shareen! That’s lovely to hear. Allison’s thank you to her daughters inspired this!

  192. You are literally awesome 🙂

  193. Awesome comment Laura. Actually, I’ve done everything on that list lol. This makes me feel better about myself. Thank you!

  194. Yes! That would be awesomely cool 🙂

  195. Thank you.

    Yes, we do! 🙂 Thanks for reading!

  196. I love that you’re reading my stuff. Thank you Shareen 🙂

  197. Thank you Lizzi! If you’d like to contribute too – just let me know 🙂

  198. Yes! I think there’s good and bad to both. But like you, I’m happy to be an only child. My wife has more than enough to keep me going 🙂

  199. Thank you Shareen! 🙂

  200. Yes! I want the same. There will be things Alex will hate me for too, but I hope, like me, he learns to forgive me, and more importantly himself 🙂

  201. Shawna. Thank you! Thank you for that missing piece. I had forgotten about abuser validation! Now I can forget about my anger 🙂

  202. Oh I’d buy her album in a heartbeat 😀

  203. Thank you Darla! 🙂 – I appreciate that!

  204. Thank you, Shareen! I just hope my Son benefits from us 🙂

  205. We are currently looking for a Representative of Agriculture. Feel you’re up to it? 🙂

  206. Awesome. This is what the songs are meant to do! I’m SO happy 🙂

    You’ll have to fight me to be her agent. Haha

  207. They couldn’t have checked that well – didn’t you read? I was the most amazing employee Sky ever had! Haha 🙂

  208. No problem. Your work is tip top. And interesting! Really interesting 🙂

  209. That is very true! I’m trying to teach my lad that fighting is the last option, and only to defend yourself 🙂

    Thanks for commenting!

  210. We’re not! We’re the worst at sharing our feelings and that should change!

    Thank you for your comment 🙂

  211. Oh definitely. You should put yourself first with everything. It is through taking care of your own needs that you learn to take care of others. I’m unsure where you read the splitting up info from but it was intended for both male and female perspectives. 🙂

    Thank you for your comment! 🙂

  212. No problem Kajan, glad you enjoyed it. Keep reading 🙂

  213. Thanks Gary! It’s my motto to be honest 🙂

  214. Thank you. Really glad you enjoyed it. Share away! 🙂

  215. That’s an awesome idea Cat! In my opinion when we stop trying to prove to our partners that they are the light of our world, their mind begins to wander 🙂

  216. No problem. Glad I could be of some help 🙂

  217. Most definitely. I agree with everything I write. Everything I write is taken from first hand experience of some form. This post was a collaboration of what I’ve noticed that some women have tried to do with me before, and what I’ve noticed about myself. I do a lot of introspective analysis – I mean A LOT. lol. So I’m not really a relationship counsellor or anything qualified in that field as such, but I’ve worked in a fair amount of jobs that require introspective analysis, leading by example and managerial stuff that has learned me what works and what doesn’t. Oh that and I’ve worked in the Mental Health trade for over 10 years.

    Thanks for the reply! Appreciated 🙂

  218. No problem. Thanks for your comment!

    Definitely not essential – having any shaped body is fine. It’s knowing how to use your assets to your advantage 🙂

  219. In more recent years I’ve learned it’s not what you look like, it’s how you act and treat them. Treat them like a princess and say no more often. Golden rules 🙂

    Thanks for your response 🙂

  220. Excellent response Hollie! Nice to hear from the lady side too 🙂

  221. Ah. I agree. Using a diamond was probably a poor example, but even those aren’t perfect. They do look nice though 🙂

  222. Awesome Yuko. I’m glad you found this educational 🙂

    All men at the beginning are good listeners, and then we get comfortable. It’s definitely not a cultural thing – we have to concentrate hard to listen and if we’re tired, or anxious or a whole load of other emotions – it might affect our ability to listen.

    This is just a suggestion, because I’m no psychologist or dating guru lol. You should try talking to him about this. Listening is one thing but communicating your needs is another. My wife always tells me when she thinks I’m not listening, or that she feels I’m devaluing what she wants to say by not paying attention – because she knows her needs are just as important as mine.

    Try it out, tell him, don’t give him such an easy ride 🙂

  223. Awesome dude!

    Yup, no-one gained anything from not saying what they wanted to say. 🙂

    Since I’ve started to say what’s on my mind life has been much easier, and people respect me better. Of course I am mindful of others though! 🙂

  224. Hey, it’s all good! If you feel that you are doing well then that is all that matters! I only suggest further reading and things to do. If you’re off doing your own thing then you’re already way ahead of anyone else 🙂

  225. Haha. Welcome to my domain Jelly! I must say I’m quite honoured that you should say that and use my site for future reference for your students. Please do, and I encourage you to suggest topics you would like me to write about 🙂

  226. Please do! If I can help at least one person with my ramblings I’ll be more than happy! 🙂

  227. Exactly. When you have a clean and relaxed mind you make everything easier for yourself – not just relationships 🙂

    Thanks for commenting!

  228. Absolutely!

    Thanks for your input 🙂

  229. Thanks! I like to hear positive feedback. Listening is a big thing 🙂

    Never listen to mates advice about dating – I’ve found that by doing that then you are doing it “their” way. Be your own man, dictate to yourself how YOU go about doing this. Take the world by storm. You’ll find things get easier when you start doing it this way 🙂

  230. Absolutely! You see, for men when we start out dating it’s all about the sex, then the thoughts of commitment come later. Which is why in my opinion ladies need to hold off for a while. Just to make sure we won’t use you and abuse you! :/

    I’m so glad too! Dating was a minefield lol

  231. Exactly Tony!

    I wouldn’t say nice guys were losers, more so they lack conflict management skills and can’t deal with stress very well! It’s not their fault though, but if they stay the way they are they’ll never be happy.

    Thank you Sir, re video 🙂

  232. Hi Sharon! Thanks for your feedback, that’s awesome.

    Not saying you should try this but once I started hanging with people that I would never usually hang with – I started meeting other people I never usually would. In fact I changed my social circles entirely, and, I met some bloody awesome people 🙂 Once thing I will say is that you can’t attribute that tag to “all men” there are just simply too many of us for that lol. And I’d like to think I was better than that too – but really sorry the men you have met so far in your life have been assholes :/

  233. I think you know what you’re talking about Scott – in a relationship we’re always challenging each other. 28 years, wow – good on you Sir! 🙂

    That was a lovely story – If you have children do you tell them that? How Mum and Dad met up? 🙂

  234. I’m no dating guru and I never will be Thomas nor will I ever profess to be. My last job largely involved managing relationships between departments of my company and what I learned is that nearly absolutely everything can be solved by talking.

    You may want to try appealing to her emotional side by talking to her. Instead of making statements like “I don’t want to do it because…” Maybe you should form a question. I.e. Why do you want me to come with you? – the more she answers you the more you can delve deeper and direct your questions.

    Anyway, only a suggestion. I’m no guru or anything 🙂

  235. Exactly Anna. You’re completely correct. I wanted to generalise in this article. Mainly because there are so many factors to relationships I’d be here all night trying to fathom out and explain them all lol. Women with low-self esteem do want the jerk and get frustrated when he doesn’t change. But I’m trying to write about healthy relationships, and a healthy woman would run a mile from the asshole 🙂

    Interesting that you mention this though. Thank you very much for taking your time to comment 🙂

  236. Oooh. That’s really nice feedback there, and definitely nice of you to say so. Thank you! I wish they would! lol Please, people, come to me! I’ll sort you out! Hehe.

    I really, really try to be relevant all the time. It helps keep people engaged, or well, so I assume anyway 🙂

  237. Thank you! Yep, you’re 100% correct. Absolutely no-one is nice all the time, and the people that try to be 100% nice all the time usually erupt like Mt Krakatoa at the most inappropriate of times! Thanks 🙂

  238. Exactly Shawn 🙂 The more honest you are the better I think. Because it doesn’t leave angry people afterwards depending to the degree they have been lied to.

    Thanks. It’s a lot of fun writing this! 🙂

  239. Really sorry I made you feel bad. Don’t feel lousy – if you feel there’s anything you need to improve upon then just go and improve on it. People are more forgiving than you give them credit for. And you’re right – compliments do tend to die out after a while which is why I have to make a conscious effort to keep doing them 🙂

  240. Thanks SC! Loving that comment. I’m the same. The differences in the way we think are really interesting.

    It’s absolutely terrible in chat rooms, guys (and girls) cutting entire chats they’ve had with people and pasting them into their friends inboxes. The sense of anonymity gives us the instinct to blab more most definitely. That behaviour actually offends me now, because well, conversations are private. But it’s still rife! 🙂

  241. Thank you! I appreciate the feedback 🙂

  242. Hi renan,

    I think no more than the standard website. Did you know that Facebook uses every shred of information you give it to bring you targeted ads from selected advertisers? The worst offenders are the social media websites for the privacy hoarding.

    Thanks – yes, browsing dating sites can be fun and engaging. I’ll be writing more about them later 🙂

  243. Thanks rule – Yes. Love is. You can find love wherever you want to if you have that positive attitude 🙂 Exactly – if you never try, you will never find out!

    Thanks for the feedback 🙂

  244. Awesome stance Yishan. Yes, it can be daunting at first, and yes, I would encourage meeting a man with a group of people. Women are usually very intuitive when it comes to talking to people online and meeting people outside for the first time – so you can basically filter him with your friends and deside if you want to go one to one later. A good idea, yes? 🙂

  245. I really appreciate that you gave me your feelings on this subject. Thank you for that. I actively encourage people to challenge my opinion and position on things. It keeps me in touch. Ok in answer to your comment:

    You and I are probably from very different eras, and I am assuming that it was considered proper to hide your emotions away from the outside world especially anything of sexual nature. My era and after is the generation of Pornhub, Xvideos, Xhamster and all those websites. Men are becoming more and more overt about their sexual inhibitions, and similarly, when someone talks to us (men) about a new service they have to attract women – their end result is going to have to be sex. Why? Well, my [now] wife; when I first met her the furthest I was thinking in the future was when was I going to get her into bed. Also – we have Hollywood graphically dumbing down our senses to anything explicit in nature.

    In my opinion Jason Capital is the real deal. He explains how to attract women and then the rest is up to you. I don’t know about you but I’m happy with only one. I’m sure millions of other unsuccessful men only want one girl to cherish too 🙂

  246. Haha! Thanks! 🙂 I didn’t mention any dating websites because that was an article on how to connect with people for free. And yep, you’re right, scamming was rife in that area only a few years ago. It was worse at the beginning when I was 16 and horny as a raging bull. I’ve had my fair share of ups and downs but luckily sites like Facebook and MSN have cleaned up their act a lot. That and people are more aware now thanks to people spreading awareness and charity campaigns.

    You’re never too old Bruce – I once taught a lady of 70+ how to register for a dating site a few years ago back in my teaching in the community days. However if you’re married then it’s probably not your thing 🙂

  247. Thanks Shivaram. I really didn’t notice that I was missing headers. Awesome notice. Cheers! Again, what was your perception of the article that I wrote? 🙂