What Makes A Guy Fall in Love? There is SO much misinformation passed around through acquaintances, friends, and family about this subject. One of the most annoying is, “feed him and f*** him,” as if we are no more than simple beasts to be tamed. No, like women, us men are quite the complex species, and, through a careful mixture of rules, boundaries, admiration, and respect he may just fall head over heels for the right woman. Hopefully she’ll feel the same way of course, because there’s nothing worse than a love-struck guy pining over someone that has no interest in him whatsoever. I have been in this spot many of times, and it’s not a healthy nor attractive spot to be in. But alas, the topic is on what makes a guy fall in love, so without further adieu, here’s my list.
Make him feel needed.
There’s a balance that needs to be struck here. There’s a difference between making a guy feel needed than putting up with his neediness. Men in general like to know they are important in their woman’s life. There are many independent women out there these days that one must wonder if women even think that they need us at all. If a woman wants a relationship with a guy then it’ll be really beneficial that he knows if he’s needed. Remember, he’s trying to win her heart too, so doing something for her is a big thing. Just watch his peacock feathers spread in bright glow as you ask him for some help with something. If you were to ask me what makes a guy fall in love, then being needed is one of my first points.
That could spark up another conversation about the choosing process. There’s no point in pretending that your partner is needed if he isn’t, so pick someone that you “will need” either for emotional or physical reasons. We all choose our better halves because we need them to fill a gap of some form. Just make it count. Know what you want.
What makes a guy fall in love? – Spending Time With Friends / Hobbies
Absence makes the heart grow fonder. Ever heard that saying before? Okay, I’m not saying take a year out on a sabbatical here. All I’m saying is make sure he knows you have other interests and friendships besides him. Not only is it important to resist the urge to shack up with him 24/7, but to also spend some quality time with your friends and hobbies. It may seem amazing at the time spending every living moment with him but either the steam will run out too quick or you’ll really hate it when he’s questioning your time away from him as the relationship progresses.
Start as you mean to go on, because after a month or six, eventually, you’ll both be wanting to focus your energy on different things — make sure all you have isn’t just each other. If you’re looking at what makes a guy fall in love quicker than a ten second timer one of them is definitely allowing him to go off with his friends and being able to miss you whilst he’s away.
My wife and I spend about two hours at night after our son is sent to bed. After then we go and do our own things. Personal space is important in any relationship regardless of how long or short you’ve both been together. Make sure you’re spending at least a bit of time with hobbies, or your friends. No use spending it all around him!
Something women say to men but it’s the same for guys too. Can you just imagine if the woman he fell for slips away into something else after four months? Make sure he understands what he’s getting really quickly, and then there’s no room for misinterpretation. I’m not saying burst open a fart and giggle about it on day one, but definitely try to be the person that you are. None of this saying things just to please him, or woman type making yourself different than you are.
The right man will fall in love with you
It’s something I had to learn for myself, and I realised this works the same both ways. If you are being the unadulterated version of yourself at all times then you personally will be happier, and so will your partner. Mostly because they know where you stand all the time.
Don’t try and change him
Let your man be who he is and he’ll love you all the more for it.
If you asked me what makes a guy fall in love when I was a young twenty something lad then I would tell you pleasing my partner and bending to her needs, but I was dreadfully wrong and here’s why:
A lot of young women start out in life trying to grab a rough and ready guy and then set about trying to change him, and then get upset when he refuses to change which usually ends up in tears. Wouldn’t it be just easier to get a man that you don’t need to change? Personally, I think it has to do with the separation of the two male types — provider and sex machine. A lot of men get too wrapped up in one or the other type and forget that it’s a healthy balance between the two that has women excited. They should be spontaneous and exciting whilst at the same time being responsible and nurturing. Learn to find what you want in a man rather than finding a rough cut and moulding him into your own. You’ll also find that the more you don’t want to change him the better he will grow with you.
You know what was amazing about my life? After a hard day’s work I came back to a clean house and dinner bubbling on the stove. Now before you scream misogynist at me hear me out. I was brought up in a single parent household, and my mother instilled values along the lines of women can do all the things men can do. It was quite a strange feeling to be the one that worked whilst the partner stayed at home and managed the house, but you know what? I felt super appreciated and respected too when it was done. I’m not saying that you need to do similar, but this is just one way in which I felt that my input into the house was fully appreciated. I can often be seen to be burning the midnight oil at 3am just to make sure the bacon is brought home.
There’s a whole load of ways you can show your appreciation for him other than the way I just listed. Another what makes a guy fall in love moment can be as simple as buying him something he’s been thinking about for the last few days (I appreciate the small things), to sitting there listening to his problems. It’s basically about doing something for him that is more than just yourself.
Listen to him
I read a lot of articles from women that say they are frustrated because their partner isn’t listening to them. But listening is a bi-directional thing. If you want him to listen then you need to be listening to him firstly. Cassie Jaye talks about this beautifully when she documents her journey through interviewing MRA’s — and instead of REALLY listening to them she was just hearing them to make her rebuttal. Quite an inspiring story. When you listen to him he will feel that he can open up. If you don’t, he won’t. Lead by example.
How can you get better at listening? Well, it’s called active listening and it’s all about hanging back and taking in what’s said rather than being reactive and shouting at each other.
Have an opinion
What makes a guy fall in love? Healthy discussion! The route to our unbridled minds.
When I first met Natalie we spent hours talking about our hopes, dreams and fears for hours and hours for many months. Maybe back in the fifties it was respected that women didn’t have an opinion in polite society but in the 2010’s there’s nothing better than some healthy discussion over whatever it is that takes your fancy. Natalie loves Shakespeare, and I had always wanted to read them so she taught me Hamlet each day late at night before we went to sleep. It was amazing. Don’t listen to what anyone tells you — women with intellect are sexy!
You really don’t need to feign interest in his hobbies and interests and be his caddy when he’s golfing, but I definitely suggest gentle encouragement wherever needed. I love it when my wife tells me that I should go out golfing, or go out playing football with my friends. Some of the most supportive times in my life was when I’ve looked at jobs in the paper and thought, “I’d never get this,” and my wife has come along and said, sure you can, and has proceeded to list off all the ways in which I could use my skills to do the job.
Behind every great man there is a supportive woman cheerleading him on. Remember that!
All in all
Remember that relationships are there for the long term. It’s something you foster over time. Don’t just think you need to be great at all these straight away — I wasn’t. I was jealous and manipulative, and through careful work and reflective thought over the years I managed to finally get over myself.
Can you think of what makes a guy fall in love? Tell me in the comments.