Some people drop off the face of the earth when they get into a relationship. I know, because I was one of these people. I would jump feet first into a relationship, lay it on thick and forget my friends even existed. Luckily I was one of these people that has had some reaaally good friends; my friends have stuck with me through thick and thin and were all accustomed to me disappearing for a few months and then coming back with my tail between my legs. If you do that, then that’s fine but it was wrong for me and I’ll tell you why.

Regardless of what anyone tells you us humans are social animals and we strive to connect. Be that with one person or a group of people. We weren’t designed to live solitary lives, or not that I can imagine anyway. Having friends is a way that we can satisfy this need externally without having to commit to anything more. We connect as friends on common ground; for me in my youth it was people that had a yearning inside for something more, and that their lives did not feel complete. I think regardless of the amount you change or adjust in your life, friends will always stick, or they should anyway.

Dumping your friends for your new Chippendale or Playboy Bunny hot date is probably going to upset them to the level of frustration, after all, they want to hang out with you but you’re too busy smothering your partner with all your attention. You see – I think of it this way; how would I feel as a person inside if one of my friends dropped me like a hot brick to hang with his new hot bit of stuff? Sadly, I’ve dished out this type of meal in the past as well as received it. It hasn’t made me feel good in the past at all.

I don’t think we mean it that way, this type of thinking is born from a high level of friendship, where we think that our mates will be OK with us cancelling plans and blowing them off at the last minute. It’s not malice though, it’s merely a thinking of “oh, he’ll be OK with that, we’ve been friends for years” – sadly, it doesn’t turn out like that in the end though, sometimes friendships can be completely decimated because of this.

It’s not all doom and gloom though. You can rectify this quite easily. Just make sure that you keep some time for your friends aside. Don’t cancel at the last minute and don’t make pitiful excuses. Your partner should respect your friends because they respect you, even if they think they’re a bunch of cocks. The fact of the matter is that they are your friends and they have known you a lot longer than your partner has.

Keep your friends close, you’ll never ever know when you’ll need a good hug or vice versa!

 

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I'm a man that's been through the pitfalls and elations of relationships in my ever growing quest to better my knowledge in the human condition. I've been in the game and around the Internet since 1996 and surprisingly I'm still using it today. I've definitely found myself in some weird and wonderful places and I hope to share all of this with you lucky people.

1 COMMENT

  1. […] We all have great friends but as soon as you’re diagnosed you’ll find they soon drop of like flies. The ones that will be left are the ones that are there because they truly like you, and the friends that are there because they need you for something (i.e. drug use, bad habit circles etc). Think to yourself this: Who would I trust more than anything to be there for me when the absolute poo hits the fan and then … […]

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