The guys guide to understanding women

Understanding women: Let’s face it; women don’t come with instruction manuals. And to the less aware of us (me in particular) it takes a great deal of watching, understanding and learning from our mistakes to even coming close to having the slightest clue about how the mind of the female gender works. I’m still learning to tell the truth. I’m continually messing things up with my wife because it’s an ongoing process with us. She’s still learning with me dare I say. I know she can read me like a book but it’s still a jointly learning process.

That being said, what if you are just beginning your journey? Or you aren’t acutely aware of how your other half thinks? Don’t worry. You’d be in the same boat as at least 75% of men. Men just aren’t in touch with their emotions anymore. And, because women are predominantly emotional beings it has us further apart from them than we were thousands of years ago believe it or not. Before societies were born we existed in little familial groups with no outside pressures or public opinion. Emotions were wild and free and there was no detachment from ones self as it exists today.

We are uniquely different genders yet look to achieve the same outcomes. Acceptance, family, love, work, enjoyment, relaxation, kids, success, et al. It all seems rather complex when you think of two different beings wanting to achieve the same thing. That begs the question if perhaps the route we take should be different? Bang! Got it in one. Yes, the route we need to take is entirely different but the outcome is the same. So, let me start by detailing this out in a lovely little blog post for you to read.

Friendship

Women just want to be friends with us guys. They are absolute guru’s at knowing the men that they want and the one’s that they don’t. If you’re a good friend of a woman chances are that’s all you’ll ever be. And that’s fine. Women are amazing in their own right and being friends with a few can be an amazing experience. I have tons of women friends. I think they’re awesome, and they provide a different perspective to my male life. Don’t you think that’s a good enough point to have a woman-friend?

If you want to have sex with your women friends then you’re doing it wrong. Either own up to your intentions or disband the friendship because that can just get really messy. And there’s nothing worse than hanging off a woman that just wants to be friends when all you want to do is have sex. Be a man. Own up. Perhaps she might surprise you.

Dating:

First of all if you’re a man and sitting there thinking that your significant other was a choice that you made? Think again. In the dating scene, whether in a nightclub, disco, supermarket or even petrol station. Wherever the initial meeting place for the nearest and dearest was, I can bet you the initial play was started by her. Why? Because that’s just the way it is. Women always do the selecting. You were probably on queue enough to notice that her signals were out trying to reel you in. Sadly, a lot of us men get it wrong and we either miss the social queues entirely or go hit on a woman that’s just not interested. Don’t even bother going to hit on someone that’s not interested. I know there are dating guru’s that will tell you differently but that’s just too much work for me. I want(ed) the women that were available for me.

She’s also evaluating what you’d be like as a father. Trust me on that one. It may be your fist date but she’s already wondering in her head how good you are with kids. Make damn well sure you’re on your best behaviour if you have any already, else if you’re the worlds worst father any sane woman would be off like a shot.

You’re also evaluated on earning power. It’s true. Don’t be too worried about being unemployed because that happens to us all. But she’ll definitely be wondering when you DO have a job, if you’ll be able to contribute to her dream wedding and provide financial stability for little billy when you both have him. You might think I’m crazy, but yes, she’s thinking that. Make definitely sure your priorities are straight when you meet her for a date.

Relationships

Ever been in a situation where your partner is sad, or crying and you want to solve it for her to make it better? Us men are the problem solvers of the community. Have a problem? We’ll try and fix it for you in our strange way of logical thinking. It’s what we do. It’s why we exist in large numbers in logical trades such as house building and technological subjects. Perhaps she just wants you to sit there and “listen” to her and then give her a hug? Women are emotionally connected, so they are more likely to listen to their emotions. They want you to listen, and by listening and hugging them you show that you actually care.

It was strange for me at first. At first I didn’t have the slightest iota on understanding women. But I learned almost immediately that she didn’t want me to solve a problem for her. All she wanted me to do was listen, give her a kiss and tell her that it would all be better. I struggled because I wanted to solve her issue. That would truly make it better but it’s not what she wanted. Perhaps sometimes we just need to do what our partners want to make them feel valued, no?

And the same can be said for arguments. We men look to solve our arguments by coming to a solution. A solution for us is usually a competitive who was right and who was wrong argument. Whereas all our women want is to know that they are valued and loved, which mostly involves how their partner makes them feel. Listen to her, amend behaviour as appropriate. Don’t palm your partner off as a mouthpiece for rent. She’s communicating to you that she’s not happy. How can you make her “feel” happier? Listen to her. And try and make her feel that you care. It will be reciprocated!

She’s also not telling you to pick your jeans off the floor for the good of her health. Yes, guilty as charged, and I must admit that I’m trying to amend this. I think men in general look for a peaceful, unstressful life, whereas women are the caretakers and homemakers. They take pride in where they live. It can’t hurt to help her out now and again by putting your washing in the washing basket. It also shows that you care and are interested in her wellbeing.

Love

If you look at the very basics of men and women’s reproductive agendas. Men get their bits out and try and spray their seed all over the place, whereas women catch one or two of those seeds which develops into a family. A bit like every other living organism on this earth, huh? Because of the way these things are men will usually try it on with anything they can get their hands on, whereas women will be very selective. It’s not in a woman’s best interest to get a hold of every man that they meet unless they want several kids to different fathers. And that’s why women are selective

So when you’re out with your partner treat her like she’s the only woman on this earth. The universe in fact. Make her feel that all other women are ugly and wouldn’t get you aroused even if they were to sit there and work on your little man. Granted, we look. Yes we do, everyone does. Even your partner, but you can still make her feel like she’s the only one for you. Listen to her, watch her and walk with her. And above all LISTEN TO HER. Listening to her is a great tool for understanding women better

Want to make a woman feel amazing? LISTEN TO HER. Encapsulate how she feels at that moment and tell her how you “feel” about it. Listen to her talk about her horrible day, kiss her, stroke her arm and tell her it makes you feel bad. When she comes back from work the following day have something hand prepared because of her shit day previously. That shows her you have LISTENED and taken it in! She’ll feel incredible. She’ll love you all the more.

You know the flowers you used to buy her every wednesday? Why did you stop that? Keep going my friend. Start as you mean to go on.

Sex

I refuse to acknowledge anyone that tells me first time sex with a new person is absolutely amazing. Perhaps it’s just kids that say that. Or perhaps they’ve yet to experience skull crushingly amazingly good sex. I don’t know. Don’t be a selfish prick in the bedroom. Communicate. “No, I actually don’t like that, what about if you lick my ear? I like that” The more you do this the more she will open up to you on what she likes if she doesn’t already. And don’t be afraid to give her head if that’s what she likes. And don’t expect her to do anything that you wouldn’t do to her in return.

I wouldn’t say bad sex is a relationship killer. For a woman I would expect that there are far more impending issues in a relationship. Sex does complete the circle, yes but I feel there are other things that are as equally important. Talking, emotions, spending time with her, being an awesome Dad. But having bad sex and being a selfish ‘a-hole’ in bed will lead her to not wanting to have sex with you as often. Hey, I’m no expert but I definitely know doing what she likes makes her more willing to please you.

That’s all folks

And I can’t think of anything else. Please feel free to add anything in the comments section you may think of for men to better understanding women.

Thanks for reading 🙂

The mans guide to understanding women
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Copyright 2016 The Relationship Blogger
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I'm a man that's been through the pitfalls and elations of relationships in my ever growing quest to better my knowledge in the human condition. I've been in the game and around the Internet since 1996 and surprisingly I'm still using it today. I've definitely found myself in some weird and wonderful places and I hope to share all of this with you lucky people.

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