It’s quite a sad state of affairs we’ve got ourselves into, us humans. I grew up in an era when our neighbours, they had your back. Get into trouble in the street and you’d bet you there would be a few Mums and Dads out there, splitting up the fight. Now? I roll my eyes in disgust at how impartial everyone is. Our friends, we stuck together. We created long standing bonds with one another that lasted a life time. My friends that I had when I was seven years old? I still have them now. Why? Because our bonds are deep. Our experiences long and worthwhile.
I watched today, as a lady that I barely know break down on Facebook, and I couldn’t help but feel a bit saddened by what she was saying. She was right. No-one gave a fuck. No matter how hard she tried creating bonds and sticking together with other people and being nice and helpful, when she experienced some of the hardest times in her life no-one was there. Why?
Because no-one gives a fuck.
It’s right, you know. I can totally relate. I remember the days when I became a hermit, shackled to my own house by the platinum chains of getting sober. You see I had no idea how to have fun sober, and it ended up that I started to exist in my house with no-one to talk to and no-one to share my life with. I could count on one hand the amount of people that came to visit me, or tried to keep in touch. Two of those people, might I add deleted me from Facebook over something so trivial I wonder how I was their friend in the first place. Because it’s really going that way. Meaningless relationships over social media and people not understanding the true effort that it takes to bond with a person.
I’m Married, with a kid. Both my wife and son are disabled and take up a lot of my time, yet I always take the time to go out and visit my friends from a long time ago, why? Because I give a shit. Or, at least I try to anyway. And my friendships will only be deep and meaningful if I keep up going to visit them, sharing my experiences and laughing and joking at the trivial stuff in life. I’m not perfect, but I do want to continue growing my deep bonding sessions with my friends.
Isn’t it important to you? That you matter to someone else?
How does one go out and build such relationships with other people? When the world seems to be focusing on friendships they can drop over coffee? Intimate relationships that they can jump in and out of at the drop of a hat?
You do the opposite. You have a deep and meaningful relationship with yourself!
That does sound a bit strange I know. But when you’re at that point, when you’re looking at the world as if it’s something strange, that what’s happening right now isn’t any reflection of what you want to experience. Then start looking at yourself.
Instead of trying to please your friends why not take yourself out to that movie you’ve always wanted to see? Damn, you totally deserve it!
Instead of bursting a vain at your friends because they didn’t get something right, why not give them the benefit of the doubt?
You definitely need that doctors/dentists check up, start taking care of your own needs!
You’re in a relationship keep hoping they change? It’s what you’re waiting for? Bad news for you, people rarely change. Look after yourself first.
And once you start having a better relationship with yourself I promise you, life will get better. You’ll meet new people, and they WILL want to stay close to you. You’ll start to recognise the bad and toxic things you’d do in the past and you’ll learn to change them, because let’s face it. Even I do toxic shit now and again. No-one is free of mistakes or bad judgement calls. The difference is that you’ll learn to own up to them and change it for the better, so it doesn’t happen again.
And you’ll expand your social circle, learn new traits from people with more experience in different things. I recently turned my viewership on it’s head through intesive impromtu informal talks with Alexis Donkin (she’s awsome by the way), and Shawna Ainslie completely helped me take my marketing strategy up a million levels.
Did they want anything?
And this is why I keep saying, start looking after yourself and loving yourself and life will sort of fall into place. The way in which you do that or approach that is up to you!
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