Why are women so mean? – Thoughts from a man
Why are women so mean?
Women, like men, can be pretty mean at times. If you’re thinking to yourself that women aren’t mean at all, then you either see the world through naive rose tinted glasses, or you have some pretty nice friends. I haven’t asked myself this question for a while now, why are women so mean, because I understand a bit more about human psychology and sociology to know that everyone has a mean streak, and it’s dependent on how you are as a person whether you are faced with this often, or not.
Women are far more spiteful than men, and can cling onto a grudge against you and take it to the grave with them, whereas a man will more often than not forget about it somewhere along the line. I mean, it’s just the way we’re made up as humans. Take arguments for example, my wife is more likely to bring up something that I did to her six years ago in an disagreement we’re having now, and that’s because she perceives the world differently than me. Her emotions are complex, and she remembers the way I’m making her feel now as the same way as I made her feel six years ago. She’ll use this as evidence to her argument. Me? I see arguments in their current state, and, as a logical thinker and problem solver I’ll look to solve the argument in that moment, taking into account all of the experiences I have at my disposal currently.
So if you’re asking yourself ‘why are women so mean’ then perhaps you should look at the way you appear to women, or those that you have rubbed up the wrong way in order to find a solution to that problem. In every job that I’ve had, at one stage or another I’ve been bullied by a woman, or a group of women, and make no mistake, if you’re a sensitive guy like I am, then it most likely won’t be a good experience, especially if you’re finding yourself being ostracised from the wider group. For years, I would always blame them for what they did, and the feelings of isolation they made me feel, yet I realise now I had probably done something to spark that retaliation, unbeknowns to me. A catalyst of sorts. Not that I agree with their actions, I’m just recognising that there was a catalyst
The most recent case I had, where in my last employment I was left isolated and ostracised from my colleagues for at least 10 months, and dreaded each day of going into work, until, of course my Manager caught wind of the situation. I was always asking myself why are women so mean, especially when we were supposed to work in a caring and nurturing environment. But alas, I recognise now there was a trigger to the situation that I was in, and I had took aim and firmly pulled it, unknowingly. That’s not to say bullying is acceptable in any way, or that being bullied is the victims fault! Bullying is never acceptable, some people lack the maturity to hash out their problems with people that cause them offence, and resort to bullying. If you are being made to feel unworthy at work by your colleagues – here is a great resource, here (America), and here (also America)
A term used quite collectively by some women, to ward off men from approaching them, just because, well, they don’t want to be approached. It’s body language basics, if you are closed and look uncomfortable then people are far less likely to approach you than if your language is open and relaxed. Women are approached a lot by men, and I could only but imagine how uncomfortable it can be if you’re going about your daily business and some dude wolf whistles you, or tries to strike up a conversation purely on the basis that he likes the way you look. I’ve experienced this first hand as a younger man, not regularly, but it is uncomfortable, especially when you’re just getting on about your business.
Instead of asking why are women so mean, you should be asking yourself why do women look so uncomfortable? To the untrained male eye it could definitely seem that a lot of women are just flying witches, waiting to destroy the lives of their next male victim, but I find that’s not the case. Bitch face looks uncomfortable on a woman, especially if they are naturally happy and sprightly. You can tell the difference. A good trick is to realise that woman are just the same as us men. There are some women you don’t want to talk to, there are others you do, and there are those that hold a special place in your heart – each of those people have a different face from you. It’s the same with women.
I’ve generally observed that women are far meaner to each other than us men. Admit it, you’re a woman and you came here searching to know the answer to why are women so mean? Yes? No? Regardless, I’ve observed that there are certain woman ‘cool’ cliques that isolate more of their fellow women than let in. You’ll find that it typically starts in high school – The film Mean Girls with Linday Lohan demonstrated this brilliantly, the popular cliques that everyone wants in, but isn’t quite cool enough yet to be in there. We never really shed that high school mentality. You may think we do, but it’s how we’ve been taught to behave since five years old, since that first moment we walked into the big scary doors of school and learned how to interact with each other on a social level. Why should we change? It’s how we’ve been for ten years and more. Leaving school doesn’t instantly change us.
And you’ll find these cliques of women everywhere, in college, university, work (most notably at work), in the school playground picking up your child, literally everywhere there’s a social situation. The ‘cool gang’ as I jokingly inwardly call it. Usually these cliques are ‘unknowingly’ a group of insecure of people, and demosntratibly turning the members against anyone that might threaten their social dominance. If you’re friends with a select group of women, ask yourself why there are certain people that are targeted, or isolated, and if you search deep enough, the answer will almost always be because they threaten to shift the dynamics of the group, rather than slot easily in their place. It’s all interesting stuff! Self confident and warm people don’t exist in cliques, because they welcome most people into their circle – Innocent until proven guilty! Why are women so mean? Not in their cliques they aren’t! Get a woman away from their friend circle and you’ll find out they are just as nice as anyone else.
Maybe you’re just a prick
If you’ve searched everywhere, and through this, and nothing has struck out at you the perhaps it might be time to analyse your own behaviour towards women, or other women. There have been women that have asked me before,
“why are women so mean to me? I never get on with other women. I mean I know I’m prettier than most, but that shouldn’t cause them to hate me”
And the first time I heard this I was taken back a bit, that other women thought this, that they were better than most of their peers, but they do. And to me, thinking of yourself as better than anyone else, men, women, whatever, you’re going to come across as a bit of a not very nice person to know. Whenever you think yourself as better than someone; that actually shows in your body language, and people generally get that feeling from you.
Everyone HATES elitism on some level. Most hate elistism directed towards them, others, like me, have a personal hatred towards elitism against others. I don’t like people that think they are better than others. I think everyone has the ability to achieve greatness if they applied themselves, and others, you’ll find, don’t like you looking down your nose at them.
I’ve also had male friends in the past that could never understand why are women so mean to them, categorising them as ‘bitches’ and flying bitchwhores’ – yet in the exact same breath they would sleep with two women at the same time, play people off one another, father children and disappear, father children and do the minimalist effort possible, abuse, cheat; you get the idea.
Rarely have any problems
I rarely have problems with women now, and I certainly don’t think they are mean. Some women are aware of their capabilities, others aren’t, sort of like what us men are like. I think in this world the way you present yourself is the way people will see and treat you. If you generally like other people, and want to help, you will atract other good natured and willed people. If you disrespect women, or other women then chances are you’ll meet the same type of people, and the good natured ones will repel you like a bad smell, and I think the more you ask yourself why are women so mean in general, the more you might have to look into your own behaviour and attitudes to other people.
Be kind to others! 🙂