Why do you hate so much?

What is hate? I often think hate is too strong a word when used in the context as it is today. Perhaps I’m just old. For me, hate is the intense loathing of another person, with a bunch of swishy washy feely weely feelings mixed up in there for measure. Not the watered down version of the way we use it today. Or the way I did when I was younger. “I hate you Mum” I’d say when she wouldn’t let me out to play with my friends. When in all seriousness I just meant that I disliked her decision to keep me in the house whilst my friends were out having fun.

So let’s call it “not like.” “Dislike.” Why do we dislike so much? Why do we take time out our lives to tell others that we dislike something? Perhaps we’re offended by what is said or the statement in question invokes a nasty feeling inside. Whatever the case the fact of the matter is that because the world is so big and wide and people have immensely grown in numbers there is a diversity to us that’s so far apart that opinions and experiences are going to be wildly different.

And we’re going to dislike someone or something.

It will happen.

I dislike Cod Roe. The texture of that stuff is awful. I can feel those tiny fish eggs popping in my mouth. Urgh. I’m feeling sick just writing this. I also dislike it when people make blanket statements that generalise an entire minority, or majority, it can happen. I just do. Because there’s more to people, groups, towns, cities and countries than what meets the eye. We are diverse.

But what happens when you just can’t let go of it all? I’m often sitting here bashing posts out that tell you to love thy neighbour and let things go for the greater good. I know how much easier it is to sit here and do something better with my life than argue over a pointless subject for an entire two hours. And yes, I’ve argued pointlessly many times. I argued with my best friend once over something he said the previous day. We argued for three hours solid. Imagine how much easier my night would have been if I dropped the subject? Just said, ok, mate, we’ll agree to disagree, or if he couldn’t accept that statement, to tell him that he was right? Imagine how much easier it would have been.

My poor friend Laura is one of the biggest victims of online dislike I’ve ever seen in my life. You can often see people attacking her in the comments section of her blog, or on twitter, yikes, the twitter. Some people really do dislike her there. I feel sometimes she gets more than she deserves. Because although her site is mainly comprised of satire, and, it’s how I found her actually, through her website; she talks a good game. She tells it like it is.

But that’s my opinion, and like me, others are entitled to theirs. And I’m all for the idea of telling people how badly their post sucked. And sometimes I’ve come across posts that have made me so uncomfortable I’ve had to switch away because it so rubs against the grain of my beliefs. Because my opinion matters. And I want to be heard.

But what happens when you just can’t let go? What happens when you keep picking at things for eternity?

Well, a couple of things happen:

You lose a lot of time out of your day when you could have been doing something fun, or productive, or worthwhile. Listen, I’m not saying what people are doing is wrong, but this is what happens. I once argued on the internet for five hours solid on a Political Facebook Group. The result? My day was wasted and we were no further forward.

It also may be time to evaluate why you are feeling this way. Why is it so important to you to keep clutching on to this negative feeling and not throwing it away and moving on with your life? I get it, things happen in life, but if it’s that much of an issue for you isn’t it about time you talked about it?

I always say to myself that if I dislike a person, post or thing, I look at myself first. Why do I dislike it? Does it invoke a negative reaction in me because of something that’s happened previously in my life? Rarely is it personal when I find something that I dislike. Unless it’s downright discriminatory. And I dislike discriminatory things because I’ve spent a lifetime being discriminated against. But if it isn’t me that’s the problem – then I just forget it and move on with my life. A wise person once told me that.

So next time you decide to punch your keys in an ultimate keyboard warrior style God mode combo, think, is this really worth my time? What else can I be doing that’s fun? Or worth my time? Is this person REALLY worth my time? Why does this upset me? Can I sort it out so that it doesn’t upset me anymore?

All things to consider my friend.

Stay positive! 🙂

Thanks for reading why do you hate so much! 🙂

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I'm a man that's been through the pitfalls and elations of relationships in my ever growing quest to better my knowledge in the human condition. I've been in the game and around the Internet since 1996 and surprisingly I'm still using it today. I've definitely found myself in some weird and wonderful places and I hope to share all of this with you lucky people.

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