Love and happiness in the world

Love and happiness in the world

To be content and in love is the singlemost rebellious act one can do in today’s society.

Think about it. It’s not profitable to be content. It’s not money making to have everything that you need mentally and not want for anything. Advertisers and the media tell us that everything is broken and we must rush to fix it. We’ll not be content with our phone that’s barely out of the packaging, we must have the new one on the market. Everything is broken, everything needs fixing, no-one is happy, everyone is broken and needs fixing.

I rarely watch the news. And never any TV adverts. I write to you guys because there’s a healing journey I’m on and I want to take you with me. Share my experiences. Laugh with me, cry with me and observe with me.

It’s sad that bad news travels ten times faster than good news. I know that through running my own project in my last job. Anytime anything went wrong it travelled twice around the town I was stationed at in an hour. When I did something good it’d take significantly longer. One of my volunteers won a National award for his contribution to his community, and yet, it’s not widely known either. Good news is hard to come by in a society that’s geared to anticipate the bad.

There’s no community spirit either. I come from a time where we all knew our neighbours and helped one another out when times were hard, we all knew exactly what it was like to face tough times. Not now. We’ve gone quite a bit into ourselves, rarely speaking or making eye contact with those that live near us. And people have become very self-centred. In their own worlds. People rarely think about what’s happening outside their own personal circle. And I don’t blame them, because life is set up that way. Everything is geared up to suit the personal needs of the individual, rarely do people need to consider anyone else. Even in social media it’s a grandiose display of narcissism, and yet, I fear no-one realises this.

But alas, there are those people in this world that will buck the trend. That go against the grain of society in an attempt to repair the wounds of the septic scar that is our world. They are all around us, we just need to look out for them. I see them all the time on my facebook, those lovely, tear-jerky happiness videos. I’m also strange in the sense that I’ll go out looking for these on YouTube. YouTube is great because you can just choose your posion and those fulfilling videos pop up in their hundreds. Isn’t it bad that we have to hunt for hapiness but fear, agression and hatred is all around us?

This is why I say to give and receive love and hapiness is rebellious.

And yet happiness and love is a mindset. I swear it is.

I’ve seen people with not a pot to piss in be the happiest people around, with not a care in the world. Yet I have seen others with every materialistic gizmo under the sun yet be the unhappiest I’ve ever known a person to be. I’ve had countless arguments with people online, that tell me, if you have somewhere to sleep at night then you know not of unhappiness, and yet I disagree entirely. Hapiness is, and always will be a mindset. Think of all the kids that will be over the moon this year, with their new socks to keep their feet warm at night, and those that throw their new Xbox down in anger because it wasn’t the latest version.

But how do you change that mindset? You just don’t think “happy thoughts” – fuck off to anyone that tells you this!

For me it’s always been an act of leading by example. Giving lots when people need it. Giving my time when not asked. Giving all the time. And the crucial point – not expecting anything in return. For me I validate my own personal worth through giving selflessly. One could argue that giving without want of return is both incredibly selfless, and yet selfish at the same time. I give to feel damn good about myself. Knowing that I helped x person create a better website,or helped y get more views, or mentored z to write better with my help, is near orgasmic. They needn’t thank me. I know myself that I’ve been helpful, and I watch them grow, and that’s all that matters. And there’s no hidden agenda, secret contract, bringing it up constantly, it’s just pure being helpful and giving for the sake of it.

And that’s how I love myself. That’s how I self-medicate.

No-one tells anyone to give. It’s all money based today. Everyone focused on money. Where are the advertisements for people needed to “muck in”? Lot’s and lots of stigma attached to charities and the work that they do but no-one wants to volunteer and shape the organisation the way they would want to. Everyone wants to complain but no-one wants to take action. It’s all me, me, me, me. How can the world benefit me? What can YOU do for ME? Is what you’ll hear from most people when you ask a favour.

A mere moment ago, as I broke from this to take my son to school and bring in some shopping for tonights dinner, I was sat at the checkout at my local store, waiting for a lady to make up her mind which one to take. And as soon as she spotted me, with my five items, she took herself and her fully loaded trolley as fast as she could to her checkout lady with the least, the one I was aiming for. And normally I’d shrug and go to the next one but today I took note, because of what I was writing. Is this the type of indiscriminate selfishness that we want to live in? Is it? We all want good for our fellow person but are there limitations attached to that? What if your person did well for themselves, but not you? Would you still want them to do well?

I complain today, but not without reason. I’m no saint, in fact, if you read the section on my previous life you’ll probably find that I was the most selfish, uncaring chappy you’d ever meet. But if I changed my mindset I think everyone else can too. I think we can always do better. You, me, the chap down the street, we can always work to make the world a better place.

It takes effort though.

Lots of effort.

In a world that’s primed to make you unhappy and always wanting the green grass on the other side,

Happiness and love doesn’t come easy.

You have to work for it.

Love and happiness in the world

Love and happiness in the world

I’m a man that’s been through the pitfalls and elations of relationships in my ever growing quest to better my knowledge in the human condition. I’ve been in the game and around the Internet since 1996 and surprisingly I’m still using it today. I’ve definitely found myself in some weird and wonderful places and I hope to share all of this with you lucky people.

We will be happy to hear your thoughts

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