Tips for gaining self confidence. Increase your awareness

Tips for gaining self confidence – increase your personal awareness

It struck me that having a healthy mind when getting into dating and relationships is probably the best thing to have when you’re moving forward. The mind is an all encompassing organ that controls and effects everything. When I was younger and jumping foot first into the dating scene I had an unhealthy mind and attitude, which had me in a lot of bad situations. This is why I decided to write my very own tips for gaining self confidence.

Think of your mind as a muscle. The more you train with it the bigger and better it becomes. The more aware you become, diligent and self-aware. Actually, it’s just getting yourself into the frame of mind that learning is good for you, and that when people ask you questions it teaches you as well as them.

10-15 years ago I had a negative view of learning; that learning was only useful when it was vocation based (on the job) and going to College and University was a waste of time. (Yes!! This is what I thought!!). You see when I was younger I had a terrible time learning, and that my peers of my abilities would always make fun of me for zoning out or not quite getting it and needing that little bit extra help. Don’t get me wrong I was in mostly top classes as a kid, but there was always that stigma attached to it; the you’re a nerd for wanting to do well, and unfortunately in my circles out in the playground, this wasn’t the best label. Yes, being a nerd or geek wasn’t well looked at when I went to school.

Luckily I met my lovely [now] wife (she’s a teacher) that taught me about learning styles and “good” teaching versus teaching that just has you zoning out. The negative impact bad teaching has for you in later life and so on. So thus started a very long journey into learning whatever I could and can. I see life as a lifelong learning journey, one that takes us on a momentous journey through jungle paths and arid wastelands based on what we have or haven’t learned. It’s a positive thing if you can learn to look at it a certain way.

Luckily for you I am going to give you a start on empowering yourself to be a happy, mindful and intelligent individual. These books and techniques will have you reeling for more! Please do – they are all really, really good resources.

Learn your styles

First of all decide how you learn and take in information in best by using this learning styles quiz, also I would recommend a multiple intelligence questionnaire – these help by deciding how and what are your best methods of learning. For example when a teacher stands up and just talks for an hour – I zone out. But if there were lots of examples and activities in between, testing and going through the methods, I would learn best. Learn from it and then you can move on!

Basic Psychology – Learn who you are and why others around you “are”

This was one of my absolute first ventures into self discovery. By knowing what you do and why is a good starting point to learning about others and the way in which they work. You might think that you would rather not but this is fundamental stuff here, you will be able to look at yourself as a person much much better. Firstly I started off with these books:

  • The definitive book of body language
  • Why Men Don’t Listen and Women Can’t Read Maps: How We’re Different and What to Do About It
  • Why Men Don’t Have a Clue and Women Always Need More Shoes: The Ultimate Guide to the Opposite Sex
  • Why Men Want Sex and Women Need Love: Solving the Mystery of Attraction

You may ask why a book such as Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus isn’t there because a lot of people rely on this book for tips for gaining self confidence with women. But both my wife and I thought there was too much male bashing in it, whereas all of those books above delved more into the science of things. Anyway, I’ve included the link just in case – I always say you learn from your own experiences 🙂

Learn where you’ve came from and the route we’re taking – fundamental history, philosophy and art

  • The Romans: From Village to Empire: A History of Rome from Earliest Times to the End of the Western Empire
  • The Cambridge Economic History of the Greco-Roman World
  • Documentary Sources in Ancient Near Eastern and Greco-Roman Economic History: Methodology and Practice
  • Rome: Ancient Rome: Roman History and The Roman Empire

I think it’s absolutely fundamental that we learn our history because then we start to realise where our mistakes are and how to rectify them. It’s also nice to learn about classical history from a non-pressurised environment like University or College. Something you can pick up and put down at your leisure.

Learn another Trade – Diversify your skills

Now, no, before you even suggest it I don’t mean go all out and do something entirely different from what you are currently doing but it’s always good to learn something on the side. All the great pro’s do it. Did you know that I am a qualified teacher, a qualified computer technician, a writer and a mental health enthusiast? I haven’t even mentioned my hobbies. Here are a few more tips for gaining self confidence in general.


  • Wealthy Affiliate – become a pro blogger / writer.

Learn to write to the masses via the internet and earn from it. This website has all that you need to earn money online. There’s tons of support, training tutorials and user added tutorials. The best part? You can sign up for free! So no hidden stuff. I’m a user at wealthy affiliate and it’s how I earn money on the side to fuel my writing habit. As you’ve probably learned I love writing! The wealth of tools and support here is quite amazing. You could make it your full time job if you wanted to. Such a supportive community, and yes, I’ll be there too – so you can IM me too – I’m always up for helping and support and vice versa.

  • Udemy – Learn absolutely anything.

This usually costs money per course but it’s well worth it in my opinion. Enrolling for a physical normal course will cost you far more than learning at Udemy. Guess what? There are tons of free courses, there’s always sales on and you’ll learn what you need to just as well. This takes online learning to the next level. Tips for gaining self confidence? A plethora 🙂

When I started my transformation this was one of the first sites I came across and for the sake of habit I would like to include it. It’s came a long way in 9 years and the wealth of information you can get from this site is awesome. Great business and career advice and guidance. Lots to do and see on this website.

  • Volunteer at a local charity.

You may turn your nose up at this but did you know I learned and passed my driving test via volunteering at my local Charity? The powers that be deemed it appropriate that I learn to drive for the position they needed me for and sent me through it. They did have a lot of funding at the time though. There are lots and lots of charities looking for volunteers that will put you through reams and reams of training were you enthusiastic enough. It’s great to learn lots of new skills.

  • Go to College / University.

There will always be a course that’s *just* right for you. College and University might seem daunting at first but they run courses for people like me that missed an entire section of their learning lives through whatever decisions they may have made previously. My friend once taught a School course at college which led on to higher accredited courses. Never doubt yourself!

Venture out into the world.

The brain and the physical are interlinked. One cannot be truly happy without the other – please definitely read my Getting fit – Have the body YOU want. Part of becoming a wiser and cultured person would be to see and hear the world. So that doesn’t mean visiting Italy, eating McDonalds and the local bar, only to socialise with people of your own country. I mean truly see the world. Go to Italy and visit the quaint little shops off the tourist map – the one’s where the staff will scratch their head as you desperately try and speak their language. Order a proper Lasagne, or a proper Italian meal – not the plates you get at home. Climb the mountains, go on bike rides, truly visit the world around you and soak it in.

Once we get to this paragraph here, if you can honestly say that you’ve tried it all, been there and done that and enjoyed every damn minute of it. I would probably hazard a guess that you’re married, have kids and are settled. You see, these things seem to happen by accident along the way of self-improvement, or self-enlightenment if you want to call it that. It did me. When I was on the cycle of change I met my partner and made her my wife. 6 years later I’m sat here writing this to you as a person that’s done a lot of shit. I don’t think I’ve seen it all yet though – I probably never will. But, enjoy life whilst it lasts. Be you, be amazing 🙂

I really hope you’ve enjoyed my tips for gaining self confidence inside and out. I hope it helps 🙂


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Raymond is a Mental Health activist and cryptocurrency enthusiast. He fuels his activism by taking to the web and trying to create core change in the way people interact. As an ex-Community​ Manager, Raymond has a unique approach to communication and relationships and believes the way forward in life is improving the interactions between one another. Raymond started his blogging activities as a way to heal from a chequered past, and through this, his blog has become something far more empowering than he ever imagined. And thus, The Relationship Blogger Magazine was born.


  1. Raymond, you give dating a different twist and a clean one as that. Not may people will have thought about it that way, at least I didn’t. Well when it comes to the subject of the mind be absolute essential for success in basically everything even in relationships, its very true. If the mind is properly primed for a relationship, there is bound to be less clutter in the relationship.

    1. Exactly. When you have a clean and relaxed mind you make everything easier for yourself – not just relationships 🙂

      Thanks for commenting!

  2. Hi Rbaxter,
    Great website you have made making the mind fit. Such great content you have here. I really like how you have designed your website. Its easy to navigate. Also, the formatting of your site is nice and easy to read on the eyes. I have bookmarked your site to refer back to for future cases. Best wishes to you in your future endeavors.


  3. Hey Raymond!

    Fancy me getting your site to review! woop woop! It’s nice to finally know your real name!

    Very very awesome info you got there. I truly believe that tuning one’s mind to do things correctly would solve half our problems. Absolutely enjoyed your explanation of brain psychology. As I dabble in counselling and therapy this is an awesome article to refer to for my resources and indexes. Well done! Keep it coming!


    1. Haha. Welcome to my domain Jelly! I must say I’m quite honoured that you should say that and use my site for future reference for your students. Please do, and I encourage you to suggest topics you would like me to write about 🙂

  4. You suggest a lot of books to read and things to do. I’m a member at Wealthy Affiliate and how to build my website is what I’m currently learning. I recently completed an Associates In Business through Columbia Southern University online, so that was some learning I did. The most recent book I read was the first book in the Game of Thrones series. I’ve never been to another country unless you count Canada.

    1. Hey, it’s all good! If you feel that you are doing well then that is all that matters! I only suggest further reading and things to do. If you’re off doing your own thing then you’re already way ahead of anyone else 🙂

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