How And Why Men Fall In Love

Why do men fall in love? How do men fall in love? Do men fall in love or do they just pretend to be in love as a manipulation tactic to get a woman to have sex with them? Do the words “I love you” mean the same thing to men as they do to women?

I know that men might seem like aliens sometimes (I am exaggerating, but you know what I mean) but the reality is… the way men fall in love and the reasons why men fall in love are a lot more similar to how and why women fall in love than you would think.

Granted, there are key differences between men and women when it comes to love… but the first roadblock many women run into when it comes to relationships is thinking that men are so different than women.

Men are human beings, too.

This article helps clarify a lot when it comes to the male mindset and approach toward love.

Here are some reasons a man will fall in love with a woman:

His life is better with her in it than without her.

This means she brings something to the table; she is not an energy drain looking for him to save her but rather an addition to his life. If a woman makes a man feel like he is her only source of happiness and fulfillment, he won’t really let himself fall in love. Men want a partner, not someone who relies on him to be OK.

So focus on your own life and making sure you feel OK without needing a man to define you, help you or make your world “OK.”

When you can add to his life it makes him feel like he does not have to constantly “give.”

When two people give relatively equally love is a lot more likely to take hold in a relationship than when one person constantly gives. 

Never give just to “get,” though. This reeks of having an agenda (and I will get to why having an agenda is such a love-killing mindset in the next section.

Her nature is genuine and he feels it.

If you have an agenda around him, he will feel the agenda. What is an agenda? Having an ulterior motive. Having an ulterior motive is going to come off as 1) Manipulative 2) Fake.

Men will have sex with a woman who has an agenda; men will not, however, fall in love with her. These words are horribly blunt but true. I would rather just say it than beat-around-the-bush.

So being genuine means showing your true self. I don’t mean go crazy with over-sharing, spilling your life story and talking about your ex-boyfriend. Simply show your best self; men fall in love with a woman who they can truly get to know.

The process of falling in love is… well, a process. You can learn more here about this process, with specific steps you can take.

A man will fall in love both in the time he is with you and in the time away from you when he thinks about you.

Falling in love is a mental process and a physical sensation all wrapped in one delightful yet jarring process.

The Intangible (Yes, Men Get Butterflies Too!)

What do I mean by intangible and what does it have to do with men falling in love? Well, what I mean is this… there is no blueprint to force any man you want to fall in love with you if the intangible “spark” is not there. Either he will love you or not; same goes for you. Forcing love is going to kill any shot at love taking hold in your relationship.

The intangible also includes the physical and intimate connection you have with him. When he holds you, kisses you, touches you, holds your hand… he will “feel it.”

This phrase, while overused and possibly taken out of context at times, reigns true: when you are in love, you just know. This is how a man experiences love; he will know in his heart.

***

Erin Bilgin is the Web Content Manager at Vixen Daily, where she edits both beauty and love/dating/relationship content. Her passion is spreading love in its purest form; her guiding principle rests upon the idea that peace is better than war and attacking serves no purpose in our world. She also writes for various online media publications including but not limited to: Your Tango, Talkspace & Zoosk.

How and why men fall in love
Erin Bilgin

Erin Bilgin is the Web Content Manager at Vixen Daily, where she edits both beauty and love/dating/relationship content. Her passion is spreading love in its purest form; her guiding principle rests upon the idea that peace is better than war and attacking serves no purpose in our world. She also writes for various online media publications including but not limited to: Your Tango, Talkspace & Zoosk.

1 Comment
  1. Reply
    Rachel Hanson April 26, 2017 at 6:38 pm

    I love this piece! I’ve never been a huge fan of the phrase “falling in love” because, like you said, it’s a process and something you have to work at (even if the work is fun). It’s not just something that happens accidentally.

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