I hear and see this question asked a lot. Too many times actually. I’ve recently been browsing the depths of Quora and finding a lot of duplicate questions that are asked time and time again. The human need for satisfying burning questions is often great. Today I thought I would write a long and detailed answer to the “should I get back with my ex?” question

Should I get back with my Ex?

My initial thought would be definitely not, however I feel I may be too biased in this situation because almost all of my previous relationships have ended horribly; either by my own doing or my partners doing. But I understand the world is a HUGE huge place and that everyone is completely different. There are a crazy amount of forces in play; overbearing parents, judgemental friends, controlling ex’s of your ex. It begs the question that any answer to this question would be less than extremely complex.

So let’s try answering this in a different way

How do YOU feel, and do you think it’s worth getting back with a person that you’ve previously split up with? Who’s decision was it and do you have any control of the situation? I.e. are there any external influences at play as mentioned above. I’ll write you a short list for you to consider.

1) You’ve broke up with your partner. Why did you break up? And why do you want them back?

2) Do you think you will be able to move past reason 1) and be able to trust them fully again?

3) What will the advantages of getting back with your partner be? I ask this because there’s a whole ocean of people out there. Simply saying your ex is the only person to satisfy you is not true.

4) Are you able to deal with further fallouts and discrepancies with your partner were you to get back with them?

5) How much control do you both have of external influences? i.e. Mother & Father, relatives, friends. The more control external influences exert – the harder it will be to get back together

6) Probably one of the most important things to consider is that are you just lonely? Because putting yourself through a lifetime of unhappiness because you don’t want to be lonely is unfair to yourself.

Once you’ve considered these questions then I would suggest you decide yourself on what you would like to do. Then, you’ve taken action based on your own decisions. A great trick is to find yourself a hobby to focus your mind elsewhere. I’ve done it many times. Years ago I was the throned King of obsession where I would sit in my flat and think, and think, and think. What good would it do me? None. None at all because I was no further forward. Only a shit-ton of thinking and no action whatsoever.

If it were me I would go out and get some new clothes and get a makeover and go out and have some fun. Life is definitely for living and not obsessing over things that could have or could not have happened. But then again, as I understand you aren’t me. Decide for yourself. Own yourself. own your life.

Life is for living.

 

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I'm a man that's been through the pitfalls and elations of relationships in my ever growing quest to better my knowledge in the human condition. I've been in the game and around the Internet since 1996 and surprisingly I'm still using it today. I've definitely found myself in some weird and wonderful places and I hope to share all of this with you lucky people.

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