The objectification of humans!

The objectification of humans!

I don’t think men think about this much. Perhaps it’s because we’re not as threatened by it. If I was to say walk up to a woman and rub her va jay jay without being intimately involved with her in the first place, I’m sure as hell going to get a good old kick in the teeth. Or, she’ll run away. Fight or flight response. That’s the naturality of it. For a woman, it’s quite threatening for a man to do this without permission. And can leave her quite scared.

What happens when women do this to guys? Because they do. And lots of it.

Listen, I’m no swimsuit calendar model but I’ve had my fair share of willy-gropes, bum pinches, chest rubs and the sexualising of almost all of my body parts from women. I’ve had a random woman walk up to me and say, “Wow, your hands are so BIG. Boy, I’d like to do dodgy shit with you”, and a group of girls flat our cheer when I’ve bent over to pick something up. I can’t state how much it happens to men. It’s definitely something that’s not a woman thing only.

And nope, it doesn’t stop there. Yep. I’ve had to learn bitch face. Or at least the guy version of it. Because yep, there are women out there that don’t take no for an answer and spend ages trying to beat my defences down. I’ve had women literally call me ten times per day and appear on my doorstep to randomly to look for me.

But us guys. We don’t talk about this stuff much. I’ve never ever seen a post about a man complaining about the sexual attention he gets from women, or just any attention. And we jest about it, you see it in the media when you have a super hot woman grope a super hot man, almost like they are already romantically involved. But in reality, it really doesn’t work like that. Usually, it’s some lady that you’ve been trying to avoid all night and one that’s had one too many vodkas. She ends up finding you and then starts groping to try and get our attention. Kudos for trying, but try my ego next time.

Look. I’m not saying I’m super innocent. I’ve done my fair share of stalking in the past, and groped probably one too many ladies that didn’t want to be on the same planet as me let alone be near me. But I sort of feel a tad out of place here. When I see posts and videos about men groping women and being sleazy etc, etc, etc I sort of think, well, it isn’t limited to men. I’ve had a woman outright ask me if I wanted to fuck her where she stands, and she was dead serious about it. I was 19 and walking back with my mate from a night out and a girl asked me three times. Not once, not twice, but three times if I’d have sex with her right there on the fence.

And you know, this may sound like one or two experiences but I’ve picked a random one or two out of a BIG fucking bag. There have been women that have hounded me all night, women that have groped, kissed and felt me up without my permission, and women that have just openly asked me for sex. Like, right there, right now.

But I say all this as if it was a bad thing, perhaps it is, perhaps it isn’t. But I actually didn’t fully take stock until I was Married and working at the time. Perhaps it was because I was older and mature, I’m not too sure. But as I was roaming the room trying to promote my product a lady from the crowd grabbed my bum cheeks and wobbled them and laid her head back and went “ooooh, pert”, I didn’t take well to that. Not because I was married, or that I was working at the time but because it made me feel like I had no other redeeming qualities apart from my sexuality. In short, I felt like a large slab of meat.

And, it was through that altercation and stark realisation when I truly understood the objectification of women. When I truly understood why women stand up and shout “we are more than the meat you deem us to be”, and it was probably then that I started to delve deeper into knowing females. Understanding their redeeming qualities and treating them more than a mere face and body.

I found that when you objectify women you then become obsessed with a reality that’s not quite on the surface. You become obsessed with looks, body type, body shape, clothes they wear and so much more. I found it’s why the terms, “Mansplaining” came to the surface, because when you see women only as a chunk of flesh you forget about the deeper person. The one inside. The part of them that’s screaming for you to listen to and not overlook. You see their mouth moving but you can’t hear their words because you didn’t take the time to properly get to know them. I feel men objectify women far more than the reverse.

Yup. I understood. I finally did.

And it’s why when you see an absolutely gorgeous person, some people think, well, you can’t have both. Men and women, you can’t have looks and brains. Reality TV tells that with shows like Beauty and The Geek. Which is great for building the characters of some people, but I feel is deeply offensive to others. They just won’t openly say it. Some of the most wildly intelligent people I know are super-duper attractive, and I sit in their shadow in looks, and brains.

My wife for example. Stunningly beautiful, and when it comes to brain power she has me beaten before we even start a contest.

Perhaps all I’m trying to say is that more men should stand up and talk about it, and the activists should change their slogans to “people” instead of specific genders. Perhaps the way forward it to start respecting one another’s person, and bodies. Perhaps maybe it’s time to think and rather than say, “Oh, he/she was just learning their boundaries” perhaps we can educate our sons and daughters in a way that this won’t be an issue in the future?

Who knows, right?

I try to be the voice of change.

Thank you for listening to: The objectification of humans

Tell me your thoughts down here!

The objectification of humans

I’m a man that’s been through the pitfalls and elations of relationships in my ever growing quest to better my knowledge in the human condition. I’ve been in the game and around the Internet since 1996 and surprisingly I’m still using it today. I’ve definitely found myself in some weird and wonderful places and I hope to share all of this with you lucky people.

7 Comments
  1. Reply
    heidi June 28, 2016 at 3:03 am

    Well thats interesting. I don’t think anyone likes or should be groped or defined by their body parts.

    • Reply
      Raymond June 28, 2016 at 3:56 am

      Nope. You’re right. They definitely shouldn’t 🙂 – people are people!

  2. Reply
    Shawna Ayoub Ainslie June 28, 2016 at 5:06 pm

    Excellent addition to this conversation! I have been asked by men to objectify them (I think that’s another piece of this convo–maybe I’ll write it), but I find it extremely difficult because my experiences being objectified fall in line with yours. I’m sorry you haven’t been treated with the respect you deserve. I’m happy, as always, that you are sharing your story.

    • Reply
      Raymond June 28, 2016 at 8:13 pm

      Thank you – I’d love to hear your side of it. I mean at first I thought it was “part of growing up” – it wasn’t until recently that I sussed out that, “I’m not a piece of meat” and I realised that women think exactly the same way 🙂

  3. Reply
    Kalpana July 7, 2016 at 4:14 am

    Fascinating read! It’s interesting and unfortunate that it happens to men too. We should all speak out more. Thanks for sharing.

    • Reply
      Raymond July 7, 2016 at 4:53 am

      Yes! Definitely, we should. All of us 🙂

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