The worst advice I’ve ever heard about women
Listen up dudes. This means you
Yeah, I’m eyeing you, guys. When you listen to your mate giving it the “I’m a super-player” with women and he’s had more women than you’ve had hot dinners. Yet what is his secret? And why do they all love jumping into bed with him and why are your bedsheets dryer than a Sahara Goat Herders? He’ll give you advice, and you’ll listen, and you’ll fail. Why? Because his advice is crap, and here’s why.
I’m going to give you a list of all the wrong things I was told about women in my younger years. Thankfully I didn’t listen to any of them or I’d probably be laying in a bloody mess battered to a pulp with the wrong end of someone’s Stilettos.
You have to treat them mean to keep them keen
As a people pleaser years ago I could never get my head around this. I envisaged me punching this poor random lady out and her coming back for more. My friends at the time, young as they were loved to live dangerously with their women-friends. Always running on that element of unpredictability and keeping the bad boy image in tow. It worked for a while I guess but now that they’re all properly settled down that idea doesn’t work any more. Plus, when women get older they tend to go for more relaxed men rather than the speed junkie diving off cliffs and shouting every word that comes out of his mouth.
If you really read between the lines on this one it just means to say no more often. Women love to test us, and by saying “no” now and again it means that we give a shit about what we’re doing with our partner. Rolling over and giving in to all her needs and wants just tells her you don’t give a shit. She doesn’t realise you’re either shit at making decisions or just want an easy life. Stand proud, come to terms with her.
Women just want a bad ass, ugly motherfucker
I can’t remember who said this to me but it was a friend who had a dry spell longer than the Gobi Desert. The poor guy was dateless for at least a year or two. Fact was he was totally wrong.
There was this guy we’d often observe on our Friday nights out with the lads in our early 20’s. We could never get why he would always go back with a pretty girl every night, and they would just come back for more. He wasn’t a good looker by far, I mean this guy didn’t even have a full set of teeth. We always assumed it was because his schlong was the size of a large snake and they couldn’t get enough of him. Actually it wasn’t until we aged a little in maturity that we realised it was because he didn’t take any shit. From blokes or women, he said his piece, he was superbly confident and he held himself well.
Looking into it more in depth I expect it was also because some people at one stage in life learn to flaunt their assets. He also must have done that. It certainly wasn’t looks! Women aren’t vain and superficial like us blokes are.
You’re a hot bloke, you should have no problem
Uhh. Me? Partner-less for 27 years. I rest my case. I’m not saying I’m one of the better lookers but I feel I have nice eyes. At one point I was slim, toned and had just enough muscle to drive a few women wild. I certainly had my fair share of offers.
Sadly, women go on a lot more than looks alone. I’ve had women walk out of nightclubs on me, not call me back after the first date, split up with me after a week, never call back, laugh at me, gossip horrendously about me. You name it, it’s probably happened to me! But hey, I’m decent looking right? I should have no problem.
You need to have weight-lifting muscles to be in with a chance
This is SO far from the truth it’s unreal. Women don’t go around looking for guys in the gym, remember, not all women are gym freaks either. Chances are when you’re together she might encourage you to get fit (perhaps again, as my wife is always on at me lol) but that’s beside the point. You could be the size of a bus, eat raw onions for dinner and your farts could smell like cow dung, but, as long as you keep on top of your hygiene, look the part for your build, and wear clothes well, you’ll be fine. She might think holy crap urggh! At first, but once you have her attention then just hold it. The fastest route to a woman’s heart is via her mind. Unlike us, it’s through our d**ks.
I think I’ll keep updating this as I go along. Hope you enjoyed this post. Chow for now!