You are with a guy and have fun together, you want to take things to the next level but can’t figure out what he wants…

Does he want what you want? Is he a man ready to commit? Are you on the same page? Sure, he likes you and has fun with you but is he ready for something more and wanting to official commit?

“Commitment” and men don’t always mix, because commitment means giving up all other “options” and making it “exclusive.”

If a man decides to commit, it means he enjoys you beyond just sex.

You might be emotionally invested in the situation and really want things to work out, but the issue is, how can you tell if he is on the same page? I am going to give you signs he wants to commit so that you know exactly what is going on and what to do about it if he doesn’t want to commit.

Here are the biggest signs that a guy is ready to commit to you.

Sign #1: He Talks About the Future

He mentions future and includes you in it. It means you’re becoming part of his life. For example, he might mention he is moving and ask your opinion on it. Or he might mention doing a job interview and tell you the news and what happened. The point here is that he fills you in on his life and his future plans. He doesn’t exclude you. Instead, he intentionally brings you into his future.

Sign #2: He Doesn’t Like You Discussing Other Men

Now, jealousy is a huge issue in relationships and some degree of jealousy is natural. But how about no  jealousy? If you are openly flirting with other men and the guy you want to be in a committed relationship with truly does not care, this means he probably doesn’t want to commit. “Tinder” has created a new cultural standard where random hookups are more of the “norm” than ever before. If he is fine with you flirting with others and you’re in an open relationship, this is totally different than the kind of relationship that will end in commitment. If he flirts with other women, this is also okay. Your man will be concerned with whether you are hooking up with other men if commitment is on table

#3: He Is Protective

He cares about how others treat you. He wants you to be well, safe and sound. For example, if a family member is calling you names he will be pissed. Men get angry if they care about a woman and she is not being respected. If a man cares, be probably wants to be with you and commit to you. Commitment is all about caring beyond just a sexual relationship.

To sum up: it truly matters to him if someone isn’t nice to you or hurts you. His protective instinct gets activated without him trying to control you, which means he sees you as something more than “booty call” or “casual” relationship.

#4: You Talk Almost Daily

Does he speak you randomly every 2 weeks when he wants to hang out? If he is not in routine contact, it is a sign he doesn’t want to commit. But if you talk frequently and “check in” with each other, it’s a sign he wants commitment (and is becoming part of his life). A man will “check in” and give you lots of details about his day if commitment is in the cards.

#5: He Calls You “Pet Names”

Does he call you babe/sweetheart/honey/my love/random made up pet name he has for you? If he has a “special” name for you, it shows that he is definitely thinking of you as a cute part of his life.

#6: Your Relationship is About More Than Just Sex

Just sexual is not same as commitment. A sexual connection matters but is not the be all end all of a relationship. In a relationship, a man will want you to be his friend and someone he can actually have a relationship with. This means you have deep convos and discuss personal matters. If you do this, it means he would be inclined to commitment.

#7: He Initiates Hanging out

Does he contact you first or do you always have to get in touch? If he pursues you and asks you to hang out it means he wants to be around you. He is prioritizing you. He makes the plan and doesn’t wait for you to do it, which shows he’s clearly interested in you.

#8: He Enjoys You As a Person

He has made a comment about how he enjoys you as a person? Has he complimented something unique about your nature? It means he is starting to view you as best friend/good friend as well as something more. It could mean he enjoys your sense of humor, taste in music/etc. The point is you bond over something special. You have fun together and he says how much fun he has or how happy he is around you.

#9: He Doesn’t Ditch Plans

Commitment means committing and keeping plans! Obviously plans can change but basic idea is the same that he sticks to what he arranges with you. A man who doesn’t want to commit will just abandon plans without even bothering to let you know in advance. Or he will make plans at the last minute, not because you are important to him but because you are just another last minute option he could take or leave.

Take these 9 signs and think about your situation. But before you go, another thing to analyze is:

How long have you been seeing him? If you have been seeing him for 1-3 months and still, zero even hint or mention of commitment, it is a sign that he might not be viewing you as long-term material. If it’s been 3-6 months, and still nothing? That’s even more of an indication that he probably does not want to commit.

Consider this: Why would he want to commit if you are giving him what he wants already without him having to do anything? You are not his official girlfriend and are giving him what a “girlfriend” would. If you are acting as if you are his girlfriend right now, hoping that he will come around after seeing what an amazing girlfriend you would be, think again. This will not lead to commitment.

There’s nothing you can do to try to “make” anyone want to commit. If they are ready, then they are ready.

Why not step back for a moment and ask yourself: am I ready for commitment? Do you even want commitment? If so, why? What about him makes you want him to be your boyfriend who you are exclusive with?

If he has not locked you down, do not stop dating and do not stop seeing and meeting other men. Now, obviously if you have made some kind of agreement with him about not sleeping with other people, don’t go and cheat! All I am saying is if there is no agreement between you guys about this, then always keep your options open!

Do not close all doors until he locks you down officially.

Erin Bilgin
Erin Bilgin is the Web Content Manager at Vixen Daily, where she edits both beauty and love/dating/relationship content. Her passion is spreading love in its purest form; her guiding principle rests upon the idea that peace is better than war and attacking serves no purpose in our world. She also writes for various online media publications including but not limited to: Your Tango, Talkspace & Zoosk.

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