Why it’s a good idea to keep your hands to yourself
This post is inspired from DammitJami’s blog post 14 biggest online dating peeves
Dudes, what the actual fuck are you thinking? Ok, I understand this is a sweeping general statement and that not every man (or most men for that matter) are lecherous scummy bastards, but w. t .f? I know, I know, I know what you’re thinking right? These girls need to know that you’re interested in them. I mean how else is she going to know? Well, perhaps talking to her!
I can’t judge really because as a young man and socially inexperienced I was always trying to “cop a feel” of the nearest beautiful young lady on the dance floor, some reciprocated and some not so much, of course until I was right footed in the balls, hard. Why am I imagining you ladies all cheering in unison? Haha. Yup, it was from then on that I realised grabbing the attention of women that I find attractive was so much simpler, and less painful than overstepping my social boundaries.
You see, the last thing a lady wants is to have some random stranger grope her bits or cop a feel of her boobs. It’s not a turn on and she’ll notice you for all the wrong reasons; more than likely who to keep away from for the rest of her life. Let’s play the devils advocate here – how would it feel if whilst you were reading this my hand slips out of your computer/smartphone screen and eases into the shirt-top of your pants and gives your penis a circular stroke, a soft, circular stroke. You’d freak right? And I’m a hairy old man, Yeah, you’d be thinking, “back the fuck off, shithead” I probably wouldn’t even get as far as that.
So why is it acceptable for you to do this to the other sex? There are other ways of holding attention, talk to them, listen to them, laugh with them. You know, being your own damn interesting and funny self. You don’t need to be branded as a creepy armed douchebag, right? And oh yes, they’ll do that!
Next time you plan to visit the tiles with your mates and you happen to come across a pretty woman why not try and and talk to her. Most importantly listen. If you learn to actively listen the world will be your oyster.
You’re on a date and you want to cop a feel? NO. Jesus man haven’t you listened to anything I have wrote? It’s barbaric, it’s not treating a lady the way she wants to be treated and it will certainly pave the way for every judgement she makes on you from now on.
Dating is a simplistic game. It seems so easy now that I have done it all and worn the T-shirt, but hey, hindsight is a wonderful thing. Listen > share yourself > honesty > be a gentleman (don’t be a prick, ugh!) and you’ll get on fine. There was one point in my life where I thought that being a gentleman would mean opening doors and holding chairs for your partner but it’s so much more than that. It’s respecting her for the woman she is, her needs, her wants, her desires, her goals, her demons, her dreams,and her wishes.
Moral of the story. Keep your hands to yourself and you will be far more successful (and respected) in dating, and you’ll not end up on some form of register!