Why its important to let HIM chase you

Why its important to let HIM chase you

Speaking completely for heterosexual couples of course; albeit I have no issue if you date the same sexes or both sexes, that’s up to you, and completely nothing to do with me. Your choice, not mine!


As a younger male I was very shy. So shy that I was terribly risk adverse. I was too scared to take the plunge, to jump over the deep end and ask a beautiful lady that I liked out on a date. It happened many times, and if I did, I was generally drunk and it was completely the wrong moment which usually the moment would end up getting thrown back in my face and I’d end up hurting and blaming the world.

Safe to say I spent most of my teens and early twenties having girls asking me out, on dates, back to their place, wherever.

And that’s all well and good, I get that some ladies can be frustrated with the lack of approaches, and men that don’t talk to them, or just outright blank them. We do that too. Yes, Men, too, have bitch-face (and I’m sorry I use that word because I know it’s not PC, but I don’t know what else to use. Enlighten me!), and we try and discourage some of the ladies approaching us whatever reason.

And I get that you just want to go right out there and make your own choices, it’s great, it’s what the world should be like. Women should have as much freedom as men do, I totally get that. But men are wired pretty strangely, I know that because I am a man. If you do all the work and chase us then we’re going to relax a bit and think, “Hey, this is easy, this lady is happy with very little”

No matter what your relationship – never let your man think you’re easily pleased because he’ll stop making the effort. You’ll never get random flowers or chocolates, or surprise takeouts, or treating you like the princess that you deserve to be treated like. And, if you do, he’ll only want something in return for his gallant efforts. Because, you’re easily pleased, right?

To me these things should all be part of the chase, wooing your partner into a frothy mouth crazed type of love. You do these things because you want to. Because she deserves it. Because you want to be part of her life. You want to open up and be yourself around her, you want to take it that step further, she’s a person too!

So what do you do when you live in a world where all the men you see and are around are super undateable, or never approach you or strike a conversation up out of the blue? And the guys that you do approach end up being shit-cunts down the line? Because this is a story I hear from many, many women. It’s true. It’s natural, don’t beat yourself up about it.

Ok, first thing you have to think about is stop always looking for that perfect man. He’s never going to turn up when you’re looking for him, trust me. When I stopped looking for love the first thing that happened was I found love! Strange, huh?

And that may seem strange but there is depth to that meaning. When you stop looking for love you start to appreciate your own company. Do things for you. Do things that make you desperately and over the top happy. First person you need to find love with is yourself because you’ll be with yourself for the rest of your life.

So that means doing stuff.

What stuff? I don’t know? I’ve always had a love for computers so I volunteered my time fixing computers and helping others that had never used them before get to grips with it. That eventually became a job for me because I loved it so much. I also learned how to design, take photos, and walk – all of which I’m in groups for and LOVE doing. Met quite a lot of awesome people along the way.

When I shifted my focus I stopped trying to look for other people to give me pleasure and started to pleasure myself. In ways I had never dreamed of. That’s a long story, maybe another time.

When you’re ready to find some love, you’ll know 🙂

Raymond is a Mental Health activist and cryptocurrency enthusiast. He fuels his activism by taking to the web and trying to create core change in the way people interact. As an ex-Community​ Manager, Raymond has a unique approach to communication and relationships and believes the way forward in life is improving the interactions between one another. Raymond started his blogging activities as a way to heal from a chequered past, and through this, his blog has become something far more empowering than he ever imagined. And thus, The Relationship Blogger Magazine was born.

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