Why women say No – How men think
I have a good blogger friend on here. Let’s just say she’s showed me the ropes, and still is. My stats are now a-zippin’ (if that’s a word?) because of her, and unfortunately, she doesn’t know it yet but she’s made a friend for life.
She wrote a post “When I say No” last month, and she’s asked me to write the male perspective on this; what was he thinking? Isn’t no enough for him? Why consistently asking me all the time? etc. So once you’ve read her post, delve into my post from the male perspective. Hope you find it entertaining, happy reading!
Feb 3rd, 7.25pm
It had been a hard day at work so I thought I’d eat my large KFC bucket dinner quick and then sit down at the PC with some nachos and beer. MmM. Jealous? Everyone loves Nachos and Beer. You see I love Wednesday nights. I have Thursdays off so I just sit in my boxer shorts and relax like the total animal that I am. It’s also the day I socialise on Facebook. Thank god for Facebook; it compensates for my lack of outside social activity.
Anyway, later on that evening as I was browsing randomly I saw this hottie. I can’t remember how I came across her because I was getting tired by now and things were getting rather hazy. Her lovely and long golden hair, wow. She was tall too. Bonus, I like tall women; all the better to wrap those lovely long legs around me. Pity I couldn’t see her bum. I like bums too. So I took a chance and messaged her. Starting my second beer had given me the Dutch courage needed to link out that all important friend request. It’s been eons since I had sex, perhaps I’ll get lucky?
After an hour of waiting, and browsing scantily clad photos of female friends and lots of bums. MMmm bums. (editor note: women, be very aware that us guys *actually do this* we’re very visually orientated – so remember and protect your privacy with whatever you share) This interesting lady accepted my friend request. Score!! I’m well in there. I can picture it now, in no time at all we’ll be off on a date and happily winging our way to the bedroom for a night of frenzied and passionate sex. Yes, this is my day. What happens next is anyone’s guess.
Hmm. She was online as soon as she accepted, I wanted to talk to her, I wanted to let her know that I was available, that I think she’s pretty and I want to get on a date with her. Shall I? Well, a risk is a risk and I’ve already taken it.
“Hey, I think you’re hot – fancy a date?” – women like men that are upfront, I know they do. They like to know where they stand from day 1
“Umm. No. Don’t you think that’s a bit rude? I barely know you.”
Oh God, not another uptight Feminazi. All angry and shit. All they need is a good hard rodding. Well, that’s what my Dad says anyway. I kind of believe him. Those women stay away for sex so long they get up tight and bitter and just need the soothing feeling of my willy. Anyway, lets give it another shot.
“come-on, you know you want to give me a try. You wont get many offers from a guy like me” – I knew she was pretty, but me on the other hand. I’m a ten, she should love a guy like me. She should count her blessings a guy like me even asks her out.
A moment passed whilst she fell silent and I took the time to throw my empty KFC bucket over my litter filled bedroom. Why can’t my fuckin Mum clean up once and a while?
“Muuuum you lazy bitch, help me clean up once in a while, I might have a lady over”
I swear this trailer wasn’t big enough for the five of us. My Mum, Dad, two sisters and me, we just couldn.. oh wait, she’s replied. Awesome. In there!
“Piss off. No. There’s no way you’re anywhere near my league”
I sighed, this bitch wasn’t up for it at all. Clearly she must just hate men in general, another bitch angry at men. Hah. She’s slightly older anyway. What the hell am I messaging Grandmas for anyway? Fuckin tramp. I’m just going to mess with her now. I’m gonna hate on the hater.
And there we have it – men the world over. Men who get their egos bruised and battered and proceed to be horrible to the women that were actually nice enough to give them the time of the day. That chappy would have been far more productive if he actually got to know her first, she is actually an amazing woman; but because yet again his emotional intelligence consisted of his penis and nothing else they weren’t able to talk much further than his penis.
You see. And let this be a lesson to all of you guys out there that randomly message women for sex, because realistically that’s all you want when you do that. Get a prostitute. There you can use them as a piece of meat which you can easily discard and she will equally be as happy as you; walking away with your cash in her purse.
And men that actually want a relationship but don’t have the conversational skills to develop the conversation at the start. Don’t go right into it, for god sakes. Women are so used to this it’ll put them off. Get to know them a bit more, question them, test them, learn what’s lovely about them, and not so lovely. Jesus. Don’t go right into it. Or it’ll be game over. And you’ll get angry. And she will too. Then that serves no purpose whatsoever.
Anyway. Thank you for reading that, and thank you SkinnyandSingle for being an amazing mentor! 🙂
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