Getting to grips with small talk.

Raymond July 17, 2024

1 2 minutes read

Small Talk - Be Amazing

Do you find yourself tongue tied a lot? In the days of the Information age where computers and telephones are slowly replacing our need for face to face interaction, are we becoming worse at the finer things in life? I think we are, but luckily for you, I’ve thought up a brilliant and handy little guide for engaging in small talk with other people.

I am the king of small talk. Mainly because I’ve hosted and been part of SO many business to business networking events it’s unreal. Ok, so you may think, huh? What’s business got to do with social occasions? Everything! We’re all social animals. Every one of us, and we can attribute this guide to all aspects of life and not limit it to dating.
Raymond’s Small Talk guide.

1. Opener

So you approach a large group of people by yourself. You know none of them. You need to ask questions here that will get everyone talking. Questions that will get everyone talking go something like this; “How did you all meet?” “How do you all know each other?” “What brings you all here?” Good, open questions to get absolutely everyone talking.

2. Listen

There’s that listen theme thing again. I told you it would be re-appearing. Listen to what they all say. Now of course only one or two will really stand out. Most of the answers will be normal and generic and you will have probably heard them a thousand times before. But one or two will pop up and have you thinking, “Wow!” Don’t be afraid to play to your curiosity, get them to elaborate; “Oh wow, that’s interesting! [insert deeper question here]” Also, it doesn’t need to be “Wow” answers, only answers that have your question-centre wanting more.

3. Remember to play to people’s strengths.

If you want people to like you then it’s an awesome idea to massage the male ego and talk attraction with women.

Men: Man, that’s so awesome - I can’t believe you just got a raise. I wish I could get one.

(It would also be worth to note that you are not competing with anyone, so if you meet a guy that’s earning 3 times as much as you or has a car that you’ve always wanted - complement them on it. Praise them, show them you’re no competition - it lowers their barriers and they auto-accept you into their circle)

Women: Wow, I love your earrings! They are so pretty! Wow - such a nice dress you have, etc. Some men find this hard to do because they can’t do it without being sexual; master the art of complimenting non-sexually and non-creepily. All you need to do is just be comfortable and passive with saying it. Please do not attempt this if you can’t, it’s fine 🙂

(women have egos too but I find you need to get them to auto-accept you on a physical level before talking anything ego-centric)

After this, you should be in everyone’s circle and have them really interested in you too.

Good small talk ideas:

Always ask open questions. Questions that will have an absolute variety of answers, also be open to questions too. A good example of non-open questions and open questions are these:

I can ask you where you are from - which would be limited - you are only from one place

Or I can ask you “How does being from [x] make you feel? - and that can have a bazillion answers.

The more small talk you want, the more questions you ask. It’s simple psychology when you think about it. Humans are a curious breed, we love to ask questions, but similarly we love to answer questions. It gives us a feeling of importance. Note: Just remember to keep within normal social etiquette parameters - so no going, “wow! I’d love to smash her back doors in!” because that’s just not acceptable on any level 🙂

Hope this helps!!