Getting cheated on is one of the worst feelings you can ever experience. Some people will feel worse after being cheated on than they do when a family member dies. It sounds extreme, but when you form such an emotional bond with someone and trust them with your life, then it all comes crashing down if they cheat on you.
More often than not, cheating signals the end of the relationship. Most people cheat because they’re not happy in one way or another. As a result, they want to move on to someone else and leave you behind. However, there are rare cases where someone cheats but still wants to stay with you. They may have made a mistake, they might have been struggling mentally, but they still love you and want to work through this together.
The question is, can you ever rebuild the old trust between you?
It depends on your relationship
Some relationships can go back to normal, but others can’t. Ironically, married couples are probably less likely to stay together than non-married ones. Speak to any divorce solicitors you can find, and they’ll tell you that adultery is one of the top reasons for separation. When you’re with someone for so long and make such a deep commitment together, then the pain is twice as hard when you’re cheated on. But, if your relationship is quite new, then it’s easier to try and put this in the past and work towards a better future.
It depends on the individual
A lot depends on the individual that was caught cheating. If they prove to you that they’re keen to stay with you and that they made a bad mistake, then trust can be rebuilt. This is done by showing you that they truly love you and by cutting out the person they cheated on you with. They become more open with you, more honest, and it really helps you rebuild the trust. There may even be a point where the trust between you is better than it ever was before.
On the other hand, if they continue to be very secretive and refuse to stop talking to the other person, then it’s hard to completely trust them.
It depends on you
Finally, it depends on you and how you deal with the situation. Are you willing to trust them again? Do you feel like they deserve your trust? If you’ve always had trust issues and been paranoid in relationships, then the chances are you’ll never trust your partner again. But, if you’ve listened to their reasoning and felt like you genuinely have a chance to make something special, then you’re more willing to learn to trust them again.
It’s a very delicate situation, and there isn’t a definitive answer at all. It varies from person to person, from relationship to relationship. If your partner is keen to stay with you and actively shows that they’re trying to earn your trust again, then there’s no reason things can’t be better than they were before. Equally, you may have to realise that the trust is gone forever, which sadly means the end of your relationship.