I’d like to think I’ve grown wise in my old age. I’d like to think that the longer I’m Married the better I understand my wife, and through learning about how she is as a woman, the more I’m learning about females as a gender. It’s an interesting journey, and one that I cannot take without being open to scrutiny and education about the differences and prejudices inside my own gender circle. It is becoming an eye opening experience and one that I’m hoping to open up a platform of discussion.
Let’s be clear here. This post isn’t intended to single out my own gender and villify them because there are plenty of things that women say and do that make us men roll our eyes (more on that later), but this post is more so aimed at opening the lines of discussion. For some this may be hard to hear, and others, like me, this may actually ring very true. Whatever the case, listen hard and enjoy!
“You don’t kick a guy in the balls. You’ll never understand the pain of that.”
Err, try childbirth. Try postnatal depression, try heavy periods; the list goes on and on and on. The fact of the matter is that I’ve learned through life that us men really don’t know that we’re born. If you think a swift kick to the gonads is the equivalent of pushing a beachball out of your willy then I have to ask what reality were you born in? Out of the sexes us men experience very little pain when we’re healthy and living our ordinary lives without any illness.
The double standards when illness hits the family
I need not say anything else apart from paste this youtube video. I am guilty as charged too, haha!
Thinking that because you have a big penis you don’t need anything else
I added this one in from the various stories I’ve been told by women. Much in the same way some super-duper attractive women think their attractiveness is an excuse to act like a wet blanket in the bedroom, some men will think that having a big penis is all that it takes to have their partner rolling their eyes in the back of their heads. No foreplay, no caressing, no cunnilingus, no sensual kissing; just hard pounding. Um, no. Think of sex as a muffin. If you just pick at the cherry then you miss out on all the other exciting parts of the muffin!
Wanting a kiss and a cuddle when your breath stinks
I am guilty of this. I’m sure other men are too. When we get into relationships we seem to forget about the little things that we did for our partners at the start. Or at least I did. Perhaps that’s something I need to work on! Ha.
Thinking that clean socks come from the sock drawer.
I know this one drives my wife crazy. I’ll pick up socks from the drawer and not have a thought where they came from, how they were picked up from the laundry basket, washed, dried and placed neatly back in the drawer only to be ready for another use and to end up in some weird and wonderful places around the house.
Sulking and acting hurt when losing arguments
Mum was never an arguer with me and most of the time she would usually bend to my tall orders. So when Natalie came along, and being a strong and able woman that she is, there are a lot of times I find myself in the wrong, and before I decide to apologise you can often find me in my man-bat cave sulking, mulling things over.
Putting a clean and ironed shirt in the wash because you can’t be arsed to put it away
Probably the thing that causes the biggest arguments in our house would be when I wear a shirt for perhaps an hour or two and then put it in the wash, but it’s still clean. My wife HATES that. I’m really not sure if this is just a thing that I do, but, well, it had to be mentioned because it’s caused its fair share of disagreements in our household.
Thinking that sledgehammering is pleasureable
The Mrs gave me this one and it’s all about sex. There are many types of different orgasms I’ve had with Natalie; some that I’ve had when giving her head, others when we were just stroking and caressing each other, and some through thought alone. Yet when it comes to plain and simple vaginal sex I can’t seem to orgasm without giving it a bit of old welly (that’s thrusting hard for those that don’t know), and she tells me that it just isn’t pleasureable, she would rather that I rub gently against her clitorus whilst fully inside her. I understand that sex is a different and unique experience for different people – what are your thoughts?
Men that try and pull a fast one on their partners just don’t know them very well. Women are emotionally in tune with the world, or at least more so than some men. So when we try and feed our partner an absolute pack of lies she’ll either sense that something isn’t right or outright call you out on your bullshit, or know that you’re lying. I’m one of the lucky men, I have a woman that’s confident enough to call me out on my codswallop. It led me into giving up telling her lies very early on. I’ve become an honest person since then.
Us men are the kings of our domains when it comes to not listening. I’m an active listener myself, but even I have an on and off switch – and when Natalie is trying to tell me something whilst I’m writing a blog post I’ll grunt at her. I just can’t do two things at once. Maybe next time I should stop what I’m doing and listen to her a bit more. I think she wants me to. I envy her in a way. She can be talking on the phone, watching TV and still observing what Alex and I are doing in the background. Me? If I’m thinking about picking something out of the fridge then no-one better try and talk to me or I’ll end up getting confused! Ha!
Aaand that’s about it for now! Thanks to my wife for letting me in on a few of these. Knowing what eternally pisses her off helps me better our relationship. I hope it does yours too!